A One Cylinder Love Riot

A Moment To Breathe

2009-07-02T21:05:00.001-04:00

flowers
Originally uploaded by Sweet♡One

The past six months has been awe-inspiring, crazy, horrible & wonderful.

I got laid off in December.

Got married legally on Christmas Day in a really tiny (tiny) ceremony at my parent's place up north. It was one of the most meaningful moments of my life, I shook more while reading my vows then I can explain.

Our kitten passed away in February.

Pete's Grandfather passed away in March. We had an intimate wake for him, and I felt really accepted into the family fold. I watched my husband grow a lot in those days, the way he dealt with his grief made me love him in completely different ways, for his strength and grace.

I got a new job in April. It pays more than I was making before, and is a much different environment.

We got 'weddinged' in June with 100 of our nearest-and-dearest. And, oh, the stress that came out in me!! I hadn't realized I could be like that, but I finally understand. The whole weekend was packed with visiting family and all kinds of silliness. I don't know if I'd ever have the strength to do it again, but I loved every second of it.

Other than that, it's been discing and hanging out with friends and snuggling the new kitten (we adopted her in April). Life is crazy and busy, but I think I'm ready to come back to this site.
I missed it.

count down

2008-12-09T10:35:00.004-05:00

Yesterday afternoon, we got the meeting notice. Since then it's been all rumor & wild speculation.

They've called in the people who were scheduled off!
Midnight shift has to be here, too! That can't be good.
If it's the 'I have a dream' speech instead of actual information, I'm going to be angry that I had to come in.

We find out at 4 today. At least, the meeting is at 4. Whether we are given any specifics or concrete information remains to be seen. It sounds like we will be. Every answer we're given when we ask about anything beyond this week is : "Why don't you hold off until the meeting?".

I'm not all that nervous, anymore. Although I'm hoping we're employed until January 1st. Have I said that? I'm sure I already have.

It's been one hell of a week already. Our weekend was spent dealing with (or, rather, trying not to get involved) in friend drama. It's been sad and kind of shocking, and I think I've lost a friend in the process.
But she's doing what she has to do, and I've done all I can to keep up the divide between understanding and not being a part of it. Because it had nothing to do with me, wasn't my right to pass judgement or even KNOW about any of it. When people make decisions that affect you even when you're trying your best to do just that, it's difficult. She's dealing with a lot right now, so is he, and I can't imagine what that would be like. Don't want to imagine.

One good thing that's come from this whole situation is that it's made Pete and I realize how very (very very) lucky we are. We can honestly trust one another, and that's huge. Also, I think he's learning to build those walls between our friendships and our life, and that's a big lesson for him. He wants to give so much and be so much for other people, and it's admirable and wonderful and I love him for it. But we also have to make sure that we're stable and okay, too.

Whew!
Man ... yeah, all I can think about is curling up with either a good book or my DS, maybe have a drink or two, possibly in the bath ...

2008-12-05T08:58:00.004-05:00

Kate, the woman who sits across from me, is a wonder. She and her sister both work here, and I've worked with her sister before. They're vivacious, funny, sweet, faith-driven women who have a lot going on in their lives. They're the first to help if someone needs it, the first to offer compassion and understanding. They're very involved in their church, the same church a lot of people around here attend.
They'll pop out with the occasional "amen" or "testify!" when they're listening to gospel music and it never fails to make me giggle a little bit.

If you hadn't gathered, I'm not a very religous person. But, I have so much respect for any beliefs that make someone else want to be a better person, and it's obvious their religion does just that for these sisters.

This morning, Kate had brought in breakfast. For the first time ever, I actually hear her pray : "Lord, we're waiting on the 12th to know where we stand here, and that we may be jobless. We give it unto your hands, trusting you'll lead us to the right place as you always do."

Kate just had a baby, she's been back from maternity leave for about three weeks. She's missing her son, needing the money that working brings, trying to find some balance between the two. Yet she sounded so serene and so trusting, not an ounce of the stress the rest of us feel in her voice. I've heard her voice her worries before, but in that moment they seemed gone.

If she can have that much faith and trust with so much new responsibility, shouldn't I?

I need to trust in The Universe (or what have you) to take care of me, while still pushing my resume out there. It's a hard line to walk for me. But I'm learning.
I'm thankful for the lesson.

a reminder to myself

2008-12-03T10:22:00.003-05:00

There's a high-level meeting in about 30 minutes that will pretty much determine my program's future in light of yesterday's Big Three news. Then our team and company management (but not us) have a meeting at 1 to discuss the first meeting.

I should be worried. It seems like everyone around me is. There's reason to be.

But, it's been a month of stress and worry. Every day seems to add to it. I can't handle that constantly, I need to step away and just breathe. Even (maybe especially) this morning.

Life is constantly changing. I've done my best to do a good job here, and I've continued to reach out to other opportunities. What comes will come, and somehow I'll get through it.

In the meantime, I'll sit here and try to continue thinking postitively. Everything leads to the next thing, and it will be different and better.

Better would be nice.

kitten triggers

2008-12-02T10:04:00.003-05:00

Last night when we walked in the door with sushi and treats for Spot, I was one red-eyed, tired-out mess of a Jenni.

The night before, a plow truck had come through the lot next to ours, and then our complex, just twenty minutes after I fell asleep. For one inch of snow? C’mon! He was just scraping his plow on the concrete, which has to be one of the nastiest sounds ever. So that woke both of us up. Which wouldn’t have mattered at all, except the noise really freaked Spot out, so he decided it was time to play. So I got up to read in the living room for a little while and calm the cat down while he spazzed out and bounced from table to couch to chair to desk.
After finally getting him settled down forty-five minutes later, he slunk off to go sleep on Pete’s head (Spot’s favorite place to sleep) and then I was all wound up.

It’s always hard to get back in the swing of things after a vacation. But not being able to fall asleep before 3am on a Sunday night makes it a bit ickier.

♥♥♥

Instead of curling up on the couch and napping after having survived Monday, I decided that I need a new DS game to distract me for a while, and *shocked face* Chrono Trigger has just come out! So it was off to Best Buy for that. This game? It’s amazing. It’s been twelve years or so since I played the original, and that is one of my favorite games of all time.
Powering up the DS and hearing that theme music, I started bouncing around the living room.
“Do you HEAR it? I so remember this part!” Which I think I kept repeating for the first 20 minutes. Ha! Pete loves me :P

Which reminded me of how back when I was playing Chrono Trigger, so were a few of my friends. The guys in our group always named their RPG characters after friends, so one of my friends would have a healer Jenni in his game, while another one would have a warrior Jenni.
My oldest guy friend in the world was named Dave. Dave spent a lot of time at our house, my parents trusted him (with good reason), he was one of the only two boys allowed to crash on our living room couch if necessary.
Dave always had a Jenni in his games.
I was always Dave's princess.

♥♥♥

I’m a few hours in to the game now, and it’s so addicting and fun. The characters and the story still seem fresh, and the graphics are just nostalgic enough. I haven’t looked at much online about it, but I’m reeeeally hoping it still offers new game plus.
I like the controls, I tend to use the keypad more than the stylus in this game unlike Zelda where I was all stylus.

♥♥♥

So, that was my Monday.
And then the cat decided we all needed to be up at 3am again last night. He does that about once a week now, and keeps us up for a good half hour to an hour before he’ll settle down. I don’t have much experience with kittens – is that normal? Does he need more attention? Less attention? Different kitten chow? No more wet food? I think last night was partly because the schedule changed with us being home for five days, and maybe he’s reacting to that now that he’s home alone again? But that doesn’t explain the other night’s he’s done it, so I’m kind of at a loss.
If anyone has any kitten advice, I’d be really thankful.

♥♥♥

P.S. I brought my DS with me to work so that I could play on my lunch break. But now? It’s sitting there, calling to me with it Chronoy goodness. I don’t know how long I can resist!

2008-11-30T19:24:00.002-05:00

I can't believe my five day vacation is ending already!

Half of me can't wait to get back to work (as much as I loooove being at home, I need more things to do) and half of me wants another late night with my honey.
We've had a pretty great time. Most of it, honestly, has been spent watching movies and playing video games.

We had Thanksgiving dinner with Pete's Dad and brothers. Lots of great food and we all watched Death to Smoochy.
Saturday night, Mike stopped over for a while to hang out with Pete. They did the guy bonding thing while I was holed up in the bedroom writing furiously!
On Sunday, Pete and I were given some pretty great tickets to the Piston's game. I hadn't been in a couple of years. Driving back in the snow, we also got to talking about plans for the winter and how cozy everything is starting to feel.
And there was a huge amount of gooey almost-newly-wed talk. That Pete, he is great. And he's put up with so much from me this month ...

The lack of plans, the lack of socializing (although I did pop out a few times to say hi to the guys on Saturday night) was because of THIS :

That's right! I did it! I made 50000 words!
I'm so proud of that. I've been writing short stories and the beginnings to longer books since I was in the first grade. One of my nicknames in grade school was Chapter One because I'd generally stop soon after that.
So, I'd made a promise to myself that this year I'd buckle down and get it done. If it's crap, so what? And seeing as that's usually what stops me after the first 40 pages or so, throwing that worry out the window really helped.
I did all my writing by hand. Although I type more quickly than I write, it just felt awesome to have a pen in my hand almost all month.

Now I'm going to go let them de-cramp :)

I'll be back with some more sharing later & I can't wait to read all about your holiday weekends.

gimmie some sugar

2008-11-23T10:52:00.001-05:00

Bruce
Originally uploaded by Sweet♡One

Last night, Pete and I were bored. We decided to go see My Name is Bruce because, well, Bruce Campbell is one of the funniest guys ever. Army of Darkness is one of those movies I've watched over and over, usually with my Dad.
My sister and I still crack each other up with quotes from it.

The 7 o'clock show was sold out, so we went to a little bar around the corner (where Pete and I actually met) and ended up meeting some really cool people. This girl complimented me on my sweater (awwww...) and it lead to this really long conversation and her deciding we were new BFFs *lol*. She was awesome, though. Full of weird stories and she's leading a pretty interesting life.
We also met a few of her friends, and got invited to Thanksgiving Dinner with a big group of them. If we didn't already have plans, or want to hang out with my bestie in case those fall through, I'd really have loved to go.

After a few drinks, we went back for the 10 o'clock show. The movie was cheesy and funny, everything I expected.

And then Bruce showed up!!!

He did a half-hour long Q&A, the man is even funnier in person. Especially when someone brought up Bubba Ho-Tep. Heh. Seriously, though : he seems like such a great guy. And I'm so glad I got to hear him talk.

My Dad's gunna be sooooo jealous :P

shoulds

2008-11-21T13:29:00.001-05:00

Day №148/365 - bundled up
Originally uploaded by Sweet♡One

Today, I should be :
doing laundry
straightening up
catching up on my NaNoWriMo project
scrubbing the bathtub

Instead, I've :
been on hold with a company for forty-five minutes trying to order a Christmas present because their website blows
been on the phone with my bank
been back on the phone with the first place
been on the phone with my best friend
uploaded a few pictures to Flickr

Obviously, I am the Most Productive Ever. Woo!!

uncertain

2008-11-19T10:27:00.003-05:00

We just got the news that our company will be doing cuts to the U.S. team this week.

Not surprising, since a lot of what we do is tied in with the Big Three. If the economy wasn't so awful (and the chances of finding another job so daunting) I'd almost welcome it. I'm ready - so very ready - for a change.
But, I want a postive change. Jobless & moneyless? That scares me. If I got laid off and could collect unemployment we'd find a way to make it through.

I have a lot of conflicted emotions about the potential bail out, and we've spent days and days at work discussing it. I'm worried for my community and my state. I'm worried for all of my friends whose jobs are dependant on the auto industry, and that's almost all of my friends.

We're all trying to support one another, and look at the bright side of things : today, we have a job. Some people in our building won't by the time 4:30pm rolls around. Being here to complain about another silly question or annoying change to our responsibilities is something to be thankful for.

It's been a while

2008-11-17T19:53:00.002-05:00

lomo kitteh
Originally uploaded by Sweet♡One

It's been a very long time. Wow.

Things that have happened since the last time I posted here :

♥ A very fun Halloween party with friends. We went to a friend-of-a-friend-of-a-friend's house. It was crazy. It was hilarious. My favorite costume might've been Dog the Bounty Hunter, because the guy dressed up as Dog was awesome. Or Melvin, because I kept steeling his stapler. Heh. The next day was very hung-overish and totally worth it.

♥ A party next door the night after that. Meh.

♥ NaNoWriMo! *woo* Yah, I got on board with it. I was really sick last week, so I fell a little behind, but I'm back up to 20000+ words and hoping to be caught up soon. It feels great to be back at it, it's been a while since I've written anything. I even got a co-worker involved!! She's stalled at around 7000 words, but we're cheering each other on so I have faith she'll catch up.

♥ Birthday dinners with both of Pete's parents on separate weekends. Pete's family is amazing, he's got two younger brothers who are amazingly amusing in their own ways. Older-young bro always has the right thing to say to keep everyone laughing, and younger-young brother is totally the evil genius type. I couldn't be marrying into a better family.

♥ Watching the kitten grow. Holy hell, is he getting big already! And sooooo full of attitude. He's an attention grabber and a mischievous lil' punk, and we love him heaps. Even when he decides we need to be up at 5am. Urhm, NO, Spot ... actually we have another hour and half. :P

♥ Getting over work stress. It's unavoidable, and in this economy inevitable. So I'll deal.

♥ My niece was in her local High School's play! They did The King and I, and she got to be one of the kids. With speaking parts, as well as singing parts. She was thrilled, and adorable. I was sad I didn't get to see it, but my Sister & Mom kept me in the loop.

♥ I did a limo pub crawl with three of my girlfriends. We had done it a few years back, and this time was even more fun. We hit up at least seven places, made some new friends, met some really weird people, had a little bit of drama with some of those people, and finally finally finally made it back to where we started so that my Handsomest could drive me home and tuck me in. He wasn't surprised at the craziness, and even let me tell him all our new stories over and over while we had breakfast the next morning.

♥ I finally found my wedding dress! The bestie says it's beautiful, and if it's got her seal of approval I must be doing something right! Now it's on to save-the-dates (trying to get those out mid-December) and then finalizing all the decorating stuff.

So, what have you all been up to?

good days/better days

2008-10-13T13:51:00.003-04:00

Day №107/365 - bonding
Originally uploaded by Sweet♡One

Things at work have kind of exploded. I can’t go into it here for obvious reasons, but right now it looks like my nearest & dearest are going to make it through unscathed. That wasn’t looking so likely two days ago. My phone was ringing off the hook on Friday.
At 1am I was pacing the dark living room talking to a co-worker/friend on the phone, trying to put all of our shared frustrations and fears into words. And I realized that it didn’t really matter. What we said wasn’t nearly as important as the fact that we were there for each other, that we understood exactly what the other one was going through. Although we have very different views on how to deal with it all, on what our personal response can and should be : we know why the other one feels the way they do.
I think that makes it all, if not worthwhile, at least bearable.

In the meantime, our new little man (HRH Spot) continues to be amazing. Spastic ninja wonder kitten. He’s settled down to the point where he lets us sleep for more than two hours at a time!!! Yay! A triple-somersault from the foot of the bed (claws out) straight into my toes is not an awesome way to be woken up.
His favorite place seems to be perched on the bathtub. Last night he was sitting up there and did an awkward little kitten stretch and fell in! Luckily I caught him just before he hit the water. I almost dropped him because I was laughing so hard at the little nerdling.

It’s so geeky to feel family-ish now. But that’s exactly how it does feel.
Sometimes, Instead of curling up in Pete’s lap and demanding attention, now I leave that to Spot (heh). And instead of driving me nuts occasionally by bounding through the living room and scooping me off the chair just as I started Piano Player and omg-now-I-might-mess-up, he bugs the kitten. We love each other madly and we’re still very much in that sick, new-love thing where we sometimes spend hours curled up on the couch together talking and we say the most saccarine-coated stuff to each other daily, but it’s nice to have Spot to give some of that attention to. And sharing those little looks after the kitten does something adorable? *SWOON* What's hawtter than a cute guy getting all sweeted out by an adorable little animal?

Not much, my friends. Not much at all.

new addition

2008-10-11T10:55:00.003-04:00

Pete and I had been talking about it for a while. Gone over the pros and cons, talked about what it would mean.

Two days ago, he told me about some kittens that needed homes. And that got the conversation started. Of course, he totally gets me : "I wouldn't have brought it up if I wasn't sure it's what I wanted." Clever, smart, wonderful Pete.

Instead of taking one of those kittens, I was looking online to see what was out there. This is a serious decision, it's a lifelong decision.

And then, I saw this :

I was totally sold. The lil' toupee? Oh, yes. In love.

When Pete got home, we talked about it a bit more. This kitten was quite a drive (about an hour and a half each way), but I had to go. When I opened the door? I just knew. He came right up to me and sat down, looked up, and gave a sweet little meow.
The drive home wasn't nearly as bad as I'd imagined. He was a little scared, but settled down quickly.
At home, he followed me around for the first two or three minutes while I set up his food & water dish and showed him the litter box, then realized Pete's gunna be the fun one around here. Pete named him "Spot", which makes me laugh.

After getting the lay of the land, Spot settled down for a nap on the couch and we went to bed. A few minutes (and a contimplative *mew* = where have those silly people gone?) later, Spot jumped up on the bed and attacked our toes before curling in between us and falling asleep.
I woke up in the middle of the night and watched them sleeping. I can't even describe how big I smiled.

This morning at work, I get this text: I just had a fantastic nap with the cutest lil dude in the world curled up on my lap.
And I think my heart exploded a little bit.

My guys are the absolute best.

p.s. more pictures coming. This is the only one I have so far as it was too dark for pictures when we got home last night. Oh, crap. I am becoming that person.

motorin'

2008-09-28T12:18:00.003-04:00

Thursday night when Pete got home, we decided to go out for dinner. And we were thinking about meeting up with some friends later on for a haunted hayride*.

We're driving along some main roads (four lanes on each side of the divided highway) and Pete pulls in to do the Michigan Left thing. We go to merge and BAM.

Fuck.

The car we hit goes up onto the sidewalk. Thank god there wasn't a pole there. Thank god no other cars were coming. Thank god everyone is okay.
That's all we were able to say to each other as we pull into a parking lot to call the police and look at the damage. The damage was pretty extensive.
The poor guy in the other car, though. It's new (within the last year) and he's been hit three times. He was laughing about his car being "Christine". Yeah, I think you might be right.

After the police leave, we chug the car home (luckily we were only about 3 miles away) and sit down for The Talk. The "if Jenni had a car this would be easier" conversation. We've had it a few times in the last four months, and although Pete's agreed with my point of view, he's been holding back.
When my car bit it, financially it made sense to leave us at one car. We were also moving and I'm just under a mile & a half from work - walking isn't an issue.
But if I'd have had a car, we wouldn't be without one now while ours gets fixed (luckily Pete's Dad is giving him a ride to work this week). And we both know it's going to start snowing within the next month (I know, shut up, right? But this is Michigan and we've almost always had snow on Halloween) and while I can deal with walking in the cold, no thanks to walking in the white out conditions we're guaranteed to see in December or January.
Pete can and does pick me up from work most days, but I'm also looking for a different job** and that will be so much easier if we're not playing musical drivers with our one vehicle.

And totally selfishly - this is the first time in sixteen years that I've been without a car. Although I'd like to look at it differently (and I've tried), it feels like I've lost some of my freedom.

So, after getting the bills from this all set, we're going to see what our options are.

I have to admit, I'm really excited about it! I'm sorry we had to go through so much to get here, but ... yay. Yay car.

* sadly, we didn't get to do this at all. Maybe next weekend?
** a whole other ball o' stress there

in tha staaaahs

2008-09-21T14:19:00.003-04:00

My friend did an astrological chart for me a while back. While I don’t generally believe in horoscopes and stuff (because they don’t always fit), she’s getting really into it and I figured it’d be fun.

It was a really long and sometimes contradictory chart, which doesn’t surprise me at all. I’m like that : totally open minded and understanding with everyone else, but really hard and exacting on myself. We had a really good laugh over it and then I threw the email in a side folder and mostly forgot about the thing.

Today I was cleaning out my email and I found it. This section really caught my attention

Jupiter Opposition Pluto
Your tendency will be to make career moves that restrict or inhibit your opportunities for inner growth and change. You can manage to get yourself installed in a job that, while good for finances, is a dead end for you from the point of view of personal change. The worst part is that you get combative toward any challenge to your right to avoid situations that require grow and change.

That is SO right on for me. It absolutely, perfectly describes what I've gone through.

I've been very lucky. Every job I've taken has been a step up from the job I was leaving. Even facing massive layoffs, I got out (walked out) just in time. I'm generally finding the right opportunity just when I need it.

But.

But these jobs? Even when it's different, it's always the same.
The last different job I've had was up north, before I moved. Five years at the airport. It was challenging. Every day was different in a way. I learned a lot between the monthly training and getting out and doing.
The only thing I hadn't gotten the hang of, was never brave enough to try : backing the airplane into the hangar. I could back in it, I could tow .. hell, I even got brave enough to jump onto the deicing tower right before I left.

Since my move down here, I've had three jobs. They all started differently and somehow morphed into having the exact same problems. The first place I worked we call HellCor.
Today, four of the five of us working all worked at HellCor together way back when. We've spent the last two hours talking about how similar it's gotten here.
And I'm tired of this. Tired of the same conversations and the same feeling of helplessness. Bored of the ache I get every time I think about being here, especially on the weekend. Ready for a change.

I don't quite have the strength to jump into something completely different (and what would that even be?) but I'm afraid to end up exactly where I am now. Again.
I have a vision of myself, getting ready for work every morning and not already starting to count the minutes. Spending weekends with Pete and my friends. Actually working towards something that isn't just not this.
And not having this issue stand in the way of everything else.

a lull

2008-09-16T08:49:00.004-04:00

I’ve been looking at this page for a while now. Days, maybe? Something like that.

There's a lot I want to say. But I'm not sure how to start or if I'd even want to hit publish when I was done.

Nothing's wrong. Everything's right and wonderful.

Our friends got married, and it was amazing. The venue was beautiful, the bride breathtaking. The ex and I knew we were going to run into each other for the first time since the breakup almost two years ago, and that was a lot less awkward than any of us anticipated. I know you're probably thinking 'Two years - who still cares??' And you're right. But it's a small group of friends and I hadn't seen some of them since the breakup.

Another ex got married last week, and that went well too (even with his "bet you thought I'd never do that!!" email).

There's been a lot of snugglin' down in the apartment because of the near-torrential rain we've gotten. But that's been good, too. The weather could've been so much worse.

We bought Spore the other day, and I'm totally addicted. So is Pete. Luckily we've been pretty great about sharing so far. :P

There've been carnivals and visits from my parents and nights out with friends. One night in particular where I got home at 4am feeling like I knew one of my besties more than I ever had, and so grateful to be coming home to my sweetness. But inside I'm just sort of ... breathing, taking it all in.

I feel like I should be out there, taking pictures or picking the last of the flowers or splashing in puddles or doing sun dances.

Soon I'll jump back in and have much more to share. But for now ...

overcoming fears

2008-08-24T21:20:00.001-04:00

Day №57/365 - give
Originally uploaded by Sweet♡One

Years ago I tried to donate blood. It went horribly, and along with the fact I had to get blood drawn by my doctor more than I even want to think about over the last ten years, I pretty much decided I wasn't going to do it.

They were doing a Red Cross blood drive at work the other day. My friend Nikki decided that she was going to try for the first time. I got in line with her, realizing how important it is, and that it was time to get over my silly fear.

It ended up that Nikki's iron was too low to donate, but I could.

The nurse tried really hard (I have weird veins and they always have to take from the same spot, otherwise there're problems) and she missed on the first try. OUCH!
The second try went better and I was set.

Twenty minutes later I was back at my desk, and proud that I had faced my fear and done it. It sounds like such a little thing, but just dealing with it made me feel great.

If you can donate, please do.

family vacation

2008-08-23T10:30:00.006-04:00

The back corner is a little quieter than the main floor of the restarant, but we're taking care of that by creating our own happy chatter. It's the first time our families have met and I've been nervous about it all week. There they are, comparing notes and telling crazy work stories. When my future mother-in-law laughs at something my Dad's said, Pete smiles and squeezes my hand under the table.

***

We've tromped around the Toledo Zoo for a few hours already, watching my nephew making monkey noises and my niece oooh over the lizards. The rain starts to fall warm and sweet.
After standing under an awning with the crowds for a few minutes we decide to brave the downpour and spend the rest of the afternoon laughing with the elephants in the rain.

***

Cedar Point has been fun. My brother-in-law is still geared up from riding on the Top Thrill Dragster hours before, and his laugh is contageous as his go-cart pulls out in front of mine. I yell some sisterly you jerkey! I'll catch up!s before noticing my Dad's car almost on my bumper.
Hells, no.
I hold Dad off for as long as I can, gas pedal to the floor and taking curves on the inside. I'm laughing so hard I can barely steer.

***

My face is in the crook of his neck and as I breathe him in, I think one word : home. We stretch out on the couch together and catch up on our week. My family time, his hanging out with friends after work. We're meeting up with some of those friends later on. Right now, though, it's just the two of us and that's all I want.

***

Coming back to work after vacations is always difficult. When your Monday is actually a Thursday and you're on the first day of a six-day stretch, maybe it's even a little more difficult.
I should be grateful. I should be thankful. My coworkers keep stopping by to see how my four days off went. All I can think of to say is 'Isn't it Wednesday (my Friday) yet?'. They nod knowingly and chuckle, and then talk about how we're going to be at half-staff on Saturday so it'll be rough and really busy.
I start thinking about how I need to find a way to stretch out the good times even longer. I can see myself on a tropical beach. Exploring cities that are painted over with a sense of history I can't imagine. Showing him all my favorite places in Brisbane and up the coast.
Then I come back to reality and answer the question in front of me. Even if it is the third time in a row he's asked the same damn thing I try to keep the frustration from showing.
I glance up at the new photobooth picture tacked above my monitor and it makes me smile.
Sometimes, I think, sometimes it's all worth it.

made sense to me

2008-08-15T13:48:00.002-04:00

Our friends Stace & Mike found out last week that they'll have to move. I spent my days off helping Stace apartment hunt. It made me realize what an amazing job Pete did finding our place!

I was working weekends when we were looking, so he was the one doing all the actual touring. We'd talked about all the things that were important to us, and my dealbreaker was carpeting. If we had it, it had to be half-way decent. No current stains, and something that was actually cleanable. I've had some nasty, horrible carpeting in some places.
Pete had actually looked at three other apartments in our complex before our supe (with an exasperated sigh, she told me later) offered to show him the "upgraded" model. Pete kind of fell in love with it on the spot.
I love it because it's ours, and because there's a lot of room. It's nothing supah-fancy, but it's clean and the area is great for us.

I'd thought I was appreciative before. But, holy gawd all the skank Stace & I saw! You'd think if you were showing an apartment, you'd at least make sure it didn't smell like year-old garbage and wet dog. I'm so not kidding. Only ONE of the apartments we looked at didn't smell, and that one was way out of their price range. We're both polite girls, so it'd be the hurried run to the car after a viewing so we could giggle and wonder WTF could possibly stain a wall that shade of purple. In splotches.
Also, What's up with charging $10 a month to paint an accent wall? I can understanding charging to paint it in the first place, but an on-going, monthly charge to have a non-white wall? I'd never heard of that before. And $5 a month to have the cuuuurved shower curtain instead of the straight one? Why wouldn't you just go buy one instead? It would have to be cheaper than that over the course of your lease. Or am I totally wrong? It has been a while since I've bought a shower curtain rod.

After that excitement, they found a place that's everything they're looking for. Plus, it's in a woodsy area (Mike loves that). It's about 40 minutes from here, though. That makes me a little sad.

It seems when I moved closer to work, everyone else moved further away. (Almost) all of my besties will be living within a 10-mile radius of each other, and it's at least a 40 minute drive for me to see any of them!
I'm especially going to miss Stace & Mike. Lately, we've been hanging out every weekend. Pete & Mike have become really good friends. They discgolf and go to games together. Stace & I joke about them being "BFFs forevah!!". I love it because Pete doesn't get the chance to hang out with his other friends often, and I know sometimes he needs his Guy Chillout Time.

I can see lots of driving in our future *lol*.

I seldom make it up there to visit now. We haven't been since July 4th, and the last time had been months and months before that. Maybe I'll have to introduce Stace to Kris (they haven't met yet), invite Michelle & Nikki ... and then every time we head up there, I'd have all my besties together! And it'd be like saaaving gas because I could see all four of them at once instead of seperate trips. I get to see Nikki & Michelle at work almost every day, but ...
Yeeeah! I'm sure Pete would go for that.

"I'm gunna go up North."
"But you just went last weekend!"
"Four-for-one! Pshaw! It's like I'm saving us money, baby. Because I am thinkin all the time."

Nick & Shawn

2008-08-11T12:44:00.007-04:00

Almost four years ago, I was hanging out at my friend Michelle's apartment when in walked Nick and Exface. Nick was the funniest, craziest, rocker-ist guy with a fauxhawk I'd ever met.

me with Nick, way back then

We all started spending more time together, until we were hanging out (and partying) three or four times a week. No matter what we were doing, it was always fun. Although other people hung out with us at different times (and they were awesome too), I'll always remember it as being us four.
And when things finally ended with me & Exface, Nick made sure I knew our friendship mattered. Nick's that kind of guy with everyone. But I felt like I was losing such a huge part of myself during the breakup (his friends? my friends?) and Nick understood.
He was dating this girl named Shawn. Although I haven’t gotten to spend as much time with her because she's about the busiest woman I've ever known, she’s always been so much fun and such a sweetheart.
After five years of dating, Nick and Shawn are getting married (it’s in the water around here, I swear) and Saturday was her bachelorette party.

Shawn rocks out!

me & stace

these are two of my favorite people ever, Stace & Michelle

[I totally nabbed these pictures from Stace. I took a lot, too, and they’ll be up on my Flickr account later on today. Darn camera cord being at work when I need it at home ...]

It was a few hours of gabbing with some of my favorite girls (I hadn't gotten to hang out with Michelle in way too long) and singing along at the piano bar. Good times.

On the way home, my phone went off. It was a voice mail from Nick. He was out with the guys gettin crazy on the second night of his 'Bachelor Weekend'.
"I'm ... I'm rockin it OUT Jen-nay! Yeeeeeeeaaahhh!!! You're an f'in rockstar! Yeeeeah! Partypartypartywooooo!"
I had to roll my eyes and laugh. There'll never be another Nick. Or another Shawn who loves him so much.

Congrats, you two!! I hope you have long, heathly, happy, wonderful lives together and lots of B. babies! :)

P.S. The vids of Nick hula-ing? Awwwwesome.

I've been in my cave.

2008-08-08T13:34:00.004-04:00

I'd been pensive and thinky for a few days.

If I'm honest, it's been more then a few days. Building and pushing in gently, and I know change is coming. I've felt this way before.

Last time, I clutched that feeling to me and tried to live past it. Because of fear. I'd never lived anywhere except our tiny town (village? I think technically it is) and I wasn't sure I could. Literally years of questioning, wondering, and giving myself excuses until I just couldn't take it anymore.
I was such a miserable girl inside. And I don't think I hid it well.

Things haven't been quite right lately. There've been a few big cries while Pete holds me, bewildered but supportive. Conversations about our options, our best future.
'What does it matter?,' he asks. 'We'll still be together!'

Our friend had just left, after talking about hopping states and opportunities, and that sentence was exactly what I needed to hear. He'd said it before, but it had to be just the right moment for me to hear it.
Something clicked along with my smile. He's right.
For the first time, we can take the jump together.

It comes down to this:
I no longer want to live a life where I envy anyone anything. I want to take the risks that are right for me (& my family, because Pete is my family) and get us to where we need to be.
Intelligently, honestly, and with a little Jenni-spazzing thrown in.
But we'll get there.

I'm seeing past all the have-tos and adults shoulds to the truth. I'm responsible for building my own future. My own life.
And this? Isn't it. It was a great place to rest and catch my balance, but I've gotten that now. I'm no longer challanged or happy, and that's bleeding over into the things that do make me happy.
Pete, my friends, my family : they all deserve the best I can offer. And at this stage, they aren't getting it. Hell - I'm not getting it.

So, plans are in motion.
Right now it feels like baby steps, but as with everything big that happens to me, I'm likely to get swept up so fast I don't know what's hit me until months later.

And that sounds great. I'm ready.

July, in flashes

2008-07-24T14:21:00.005-04:00

We're in the car at 9pm on a Friday. Dusky light and cooler air flow in through the windows as he stirs from his passenger-seat nap. I look over and smile before turning my attention back to the road. 32 miles to the bridge, 80 to my parent's front door, and right about where I start feeling home.

***

It's hot out, and my parent's yard is full of relatives I haven't seen in forever alongside loved ones I don't see often enough. My Dad is doing his usual host thing, moving easily between groups. Ah!, I think for the hundreth time, that's where I got it from.
We're sitting in a small group on the new wooden benches, watching the kids and puppies run endless circles around the swingset.

***

The breeze is cool, even in the wooded circle. My sister looks so happy and beautiful. I've never seen her happier than she's been in the last few years, and it drowns out the memories of that sad, independant, fiesty sixteen year old who felt the world at once owed and hated her. She's turned into a woman I lean on, and that's saying so very much. John looks over at her, and I feel a rush of love for them. The things she's been through, she deserves to be this happy.
What did I do to deserve my happiness? In a year, this will be me. I've just been lucky, I suppose. The luckiest.

***

John calls my niece up, and she already has tears in her eyes. As he bends to her and speaks about love, trust, a parent's responsibility, my eye well over. When she sobs 'I didn't think I'd cry so much!' we all answer with our own tears.
This is the most beautiful moment of the weekend, and we are now a family.

***

We're in the car again, just me and Pete taking the kids to dinner. My niece and nephew are in the back seats. They're laughing and telling stories, making up the grossest receipies they can think of.
How did they know this is what'll make Uncle Pete laugh more than anything?

***

Home again. And our own bed. It's never been so sweet. I love visiting, but being on twenty-two hours a day is a bit much. We curl up and drift off. I want to sleep for a week. I want no responsibility, daytime t.v., and lemonaide.
Instead, I have laundry and grocery shopping and friends that've missed us.
It's a good problem to have.

***

Our friend's ended up in the emergency room.
I'm the first to get the call, since the other person (people?) she'd call are a few towns away.
I rush there, and am met by a care nurse. He talks to me and then takes me to a very small waiting room.
As I sit there, it washes over me, this horrible sadness and nervousness. I thank god that we know it's minor, that our friend is perfectly fine. Otherwise, this must be the most terrible room in the world. There's no warmth here. Only a dark sense of anxiety.
I never want to go back to that room.

***

I'm playing with her new phone since she's trying to show it off. Fiddling with the buttons, I open her received texts.
I know what I'm going to find. I don't want to see it. But, some impulse : I have to.
What I read there makes my stomach turn. I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, why don't you listen to us?! How can this be okay?! I've talked myself hoarse. I've cried, screamed, listened, tried to understand. For over a year now. None of it has changed anything, and now it's come to this.
I'm lost for her. I'm scared for her.
There is literally nothing I can do.
I buckle all of those emotions down and walk away. I have to. For my own sanity, for my own life. It's the only option left.
I'll be there when she needs me.
Dear God, please don't let it be in one of those little rooms.

4th of July

2008-07-09T15:11:00.005-04:00

Because I don't want this to get lost in all the busy, this is the last week in Jenni-ness :

♡ Friday night after work I got talked into meeting up with Stace and Mike for TasteFest Detroit. I was kind of worn out and not feeling up to doing anything, but I'm so glad Pete changed my mind! We spent a couple hours of wandering around listening to good music and eating amazing food (the sushi was the best!!). Yes, you can say a lot of bad things about Detroit and I'm still sort of an awe-struck Yooper. But nights like this? The city is amazing and welcoming and fun. Afterwards we had a few drinks at bar closer to home. Then Pete and I ended up staying up really late having a heart-to-heart, which has been the best part of my week. I love that man.

what a goof

♡ Saturday we met up with my bestie and her husband. It was their fifth anniversary!!! Holy crap, time flies. We BBQ'ed in the park since it was perfect weather, got ice cream, and then wandered downtown to watch fireworks. The fireworks themselves left something to be desired but the company was the best ever. Kris, baby? Seventy more years. Trust :P

blurry, but they're so cute!

♡ On Sunday we had (another) BBQ. This time with Pete's family. I got to meet one of his Aunt's for the first time, and she is just lovely! There was a little bit of drama, but that just ended up making me feel closer to the relatives that I like. Honestly, the whole situation made me feel really included - I'm so lucky to be joining this famiy!

I wish I had more energy to express how wonderful it all was, how much I enjoyed the friendships and sun. I know I keep saying it, but it's just flat-out true : this summer keeps kicking my ass with the wonderful.

Tomorrow night we leave for my hometown and my sister's wedding. I don't know how many people will be there, they're expecting craziness :) I miss my family. I miss the woods. I have a list in my head of things to share with Pete, since he's only seen my hometown under 4 foot of snow.

I'll be back with pictures and, I'm sure, some crazy stories.

July - onward!

weekend of lurve

2008-06-26T10:07:00.008-04:00

We had a long Saturday night of partying, where we made some new friends and found out sometimes I can kick ass at darts. I'd thought Friday was a fluke - who knew? Sunday was spent grocery shopping and cleaning. Basically recouperating. And good gawd it makes me feel old just to type that.

So, when Nikki sent me a text on Monday inviting us to the fireworks, it seemed perfect.

The weather was amazing.
After stopping at Friday's for some really bad for us food (mmmm...) we walked through the midway they had set up, smelling elephant ears and roasted corn. I haven't had fair food in forever and it looked like heaven.
I double dog dared Pete to climb on the huge inflatable slide. He didn't take the bait, but I sooooo wanted pictures of that.
We crossed the street behind the booths and found a secluded area with benches and not many people around. Just some older photographers setting up for the show.
Pete and I talked for hours about my sister's wedding, and our wedding, where we're headed in our careers. It was relaxed and wonderful to cuddle with him and stare at the flowers.
A while later, Nikki met up with us, new puppy in tow. Puppies are the most fun thing ever, I think, and Mr. Winchester is no exception. Just a tiny little bundle of too-much energy and love.

A little while later, the fireworks started.

We drove home with the windows open, singing along to cheesy songs and enjoying the warm breeze.

Oh, Summer. Can I kiss you?

[more pictures over on my Flickr stream]

stress, conquered

2008-06-21T09:41:00.002-04:00

I've been super stressed out lately. For reasons I should be, as well as that imaginary shit I find myself thinking about at 2am when instead I could be curled up against The Boy and having sweet dreams.

On Thursday, it finally crashed in on me when I got sick at work and walked myself home at 11:30. I ended up camped out on the couch until 7pm napping on and off. But mostly on.
Pete brought dinner home and then kept me company on the couch until bedtime.
I woke up yesterday feeling better than I have in months.

Then yesterday? Oh, it was amazing. I'm gunna protect myself by not blogging much here. Let's just say what was supposed to be a lunch date with certain (managerial +) coworkers turned into a very long lunch. With haircuts (not mine) and talking and basically letting all of that stress go. I got so many compliments yesterday, too. Sometimes a girl needs to hear that she's the cutest thing ever, even if it's not true. Maybe hearing that makes it true for a second? Either way = nice.
I let go of all responsibility and any thoughts other than "fun". Even running into That Shaggy Looking MF'er (ha!) ended up just being hilarious. Cattiest Boy EVER.
After all of that, there was some throwing each other around (in the best way) and then some snuggling while watching CSI.

This morning I'm at work. But my head is already weekend-bound, and there's only six and a half hours to go.

I needed this in so many ways. I try to keep a brave face on, but the stress was eating away at that. And now? It's not.

This is disjointed and messy and floaty, sort of like my head today.
And I'm so appreciative of that.

I should be thinking about sending out the loan payment, and my sister's upcoming wedding, and making an eye appointment.
But - blech.

I'd rather think about kicking ass at darts (me??? really?!) and dance floor freaks, and how Kris really needs to meet up with us tonight because I miss my best's pretty face.

That's a lot more fun.

year-aversary

2008-06-12T14:50:00.001-04:00

Day #69 reject
Originally uploaded by Sweet♡One

My PB ~

Wow, it's been a year today that I've known you. You've brought such amazing things into my life, baby. Every day I try to show how grateful I am for you. You're the most generous, expressive, loving, bratty man I've ever known. I love how you dance around singing goofy songs. I love when you get overly dramatic, and that you put up with the same from me. I love how you're so sure we'll have tomorrow (and every day after that).

Tonight I'd hoped for the Big Romantic Dinner and loveage. But we're going into our sixth day without power. Maybe that's better, maybe that's more us.

Our relationship (like tonight) has been about things happening without a plan. One drinky night out with a friend, and there you are. One broken car starter and our stay-overs turn into living together. One random conversation with one of my best friends, and you're deciding it's the right time to propose.

I like that about you, about us. I can't imagine my life without that now. You've taught me to be stronger, take risks, and really believe in myself. You've shown me that every thing that happens, good or bad, is a way to get better and stronger together.

So, thank you my crazy Petey Butter.
And .. ees not possseble. Swears.

jack & candles

2008-06-11T15:01:00.003-04:00

Saturday night we headed downtown for the Raconteur's concert. We had a few beers in the bar attached to the hall, then got in line about an hour before the doors opened.
I bought a t-shirt (so cute!)as soon as we were let in, and then we headed to the stage.
There were a whole lot of tall people already there. Since I'm very short, we decided to go up to the second level. We were only about 10 people back from the stage and I could see (!!).
I hadn't brought my camera because I thought they weren't allowed in. When we got the little pre-enterance speech, I found out we could. Oh, sad Jenni.
When we found our spots, this girl started talking to me. Turns out she and her boyfriend had brought their cameras and she's going to email me pics. Which is amazing because we were *this close* to Jack!
He is, seriously, so much hotter in person. I guess it helps that I've been crushing on him for five years. And the show itself was freaking amazing. Jack does this great job of letting everyone have their turn in the spot light. I think this is maybe a bigger deal since we saw him in Detroit. Hometown Boy, for sure. We'd even talked to this mother & daughter in line who'd driven from Akron just for the show. They were adorable in their "We <3 Jack" shirts.

Sunday morning we got up late and then went on a search for dresses for my sister's wedding. It's going to be in the woods, so nothing fancy. I'd offered to buy dresses for all four of us girls in the wedding party.
Stace was going to go with us, but she didn't get a hold of me until after we'd left so we decided to meet up for dinner instead.
It didn't take us long to find and buy the dresses and I'm really happy with what we chose. Also, Pete's an amazing shopper! Just : bam!! DONE! Another reason I love this man.

After dinner, we headed home to relax and a huge thunderstorm went through. So, there went our power. Note : this is Sunday around 5pm.

We ended up going to Stace & Mike's to watch a movie and play a board game, and came home early since we were wiped. Still no power. We lit some candles and tried to make it a romantic night.

Monday it was still damn hot. We went to get lunch (no electricity, by this time all the food in our fridge & freezer was pretty much dead) and ended up going to two movies just for the a/c.
I was getting a little edgy and, with no estimates on when the power would be back, not very happy. But we lit some more candles and I played my DS until the battery died. I am so kicking ass at Zelda, by the way.

Yesterday, I got to take a cold shower in the morning (so gross) and then head into work. I was excited to be in a cool building, and to plug in my electronic stuff since even my phone had started to die.
Pete called around mid-morning saying that they were estimating another 32 hours of outage for us.

He picked me up from work and we went to dinner. We were sitting there : kind of gross, grouchy, tired, sick at the thought of another night of dimness and boredom. We looked at each other.
"Can't do this," I told him. "We're getting a hotel room tonight."
So we went down the block and checked in.

I have never wanted to make out with anything as much as I wanted to give it to that tv. And - oh! - the cool air. The hot water! The noise that wasn't the jackhammer-level generator running the corner traffic light.
JOY!!!
We wallowed in the hotel-ness of it all. I took two showers. We watched CSI and 30 days and the Daily Show.
Suddenly, life seemed worth it again.

After work today, I'm doing a guest server thing to raise money for Habiat for Humanity. We're finishing at 8:30 and then some friends are meeting up with us for dinner.
We're being told the power will be back on by midnight tonight. I'm hoping for 10pm so that it'll be there when we get home.

So, yeah. We've been without electricity from Sunday at 5pm til ... hopefully midnight on Wednesday.
It's been an interesting week. I'm really looking forward to watching tv on my own couch and cooking an actual meal.
Whew!

glad it's over

2008-06-05T12:24:00.002-04:00

We pretty much had the Weekend Of Suck. Yup. For real. I'm glad it's over.

To cap it off, I woke up Monday if a burst blood vessel in my eye. It is sooooo nasty!!! After a quick Google search to make sure my eye isn't going to fall out of my head (it isn't *whew*) I put on my glasses and my best pout.
Seriously - 7 to 10 days to heal? Messing with my concert this weekend? NOT COOL, eyeball. Not cool at all.

Then it's been work work work - clean! - work work. Although there's a rumor going around that the working from home thing got approved. That would be nice some days! Although I don't have nearly the commute I used to, it'd still be nice to stay in my PJs and get paid for it!
I have this fear that I'd get a little lazy, though. Kind of forget that I'm working and wander off?

After I got over the suckage of last weekend, I have been pretty productive!
Got the hotel & car reservations set for my sister's wedding in July. I haven't seen my family since Christmas, and that's the longest I've ever gone. I'm almost counting the days already!
My Mom and I email each other almost every day, I talk to my Dad once a week or more on the phone, but it's just not enough! And my niece and nephew? Man, I can't wait to see their happy faces.

*sigh*

Okay, back to work.
I hope you're all having a great week!

co-workers rule

2008-05-31T10:17:00.008-04:00

I don't know if this'll be funny to anyone else, but I don't want to lose this.

My co-worker, L, is amazing. She'll be 60 next month. She's the spunkiest woman I've ever met, and seriously kicks ass in every way imaginable.
She was the "weekend lead" this month, which means that she deals with anything unusual that comes up over the weekend.

As background, our actual Team Lead is a bit of a pill. And a hyper-competitive know-it-all who tends to mis-spell every third word even when sending an email to chastise someone else for their spelling.

This morning, L sends us all this email :

I'm the lead! The HBIC, as it were. (Head B In Charge)

So you peons need not do your own thinking today. I will take care of that for you. You must check with me before imparting any information to our customers so that I can make sure it is grammatically correct and spelled impeccably. And of course, that every behind has been properly kissed.

Do all this, my minions and you shall be rewarded with yet another nugget of my infinite and unmatched wisdom that you may carry with you for the rest of your days on earth.

So let it be written, so let it be done.

We all about fell out of our chairs laughing.

concerts & changes

2008-05-31T09:25:00.004-04:00

It was such a gorgeous night for walking. As we parked and started toward the theater, I couldn't help but smile. A lot, like the huge dork I am.

Last time I saw Kids in the Hall on tour, it meant a six hour drive and a weekend spent with friends. I was going straight from their place to Australia the morning after the show. It was actually my first Australia trip. I was so heart-poundingly, sickly nervous for that trip, seeing the Fab Five barely registered. My head was too full of anticipation and a dimpled, accented boy and an uncertain future.

Six(-ish) years later, it's a ten minute drive to see KITH and that boy and I exchange occassional email messages trying to settle into a new friendship that I'm not sure I want.

As we're walking to the theater, we see a film crew on the street, and Sigourney Weaver. She's filming some LifeTime movie in our town. We sit down and have a beer before we find our seats.

The show is awesome. The Kids are still the funniest shit ever. The moments where they fuck up are the best. Kevin's robe flying open and givin us all a crotch shot. Earlier, Kev's mic messing up so Dave and he lose it and go off on some hilarious tangent where Dave says, "If I keep sweating balls like this, I'll be back to Hecubus form in no time. Yup, I'm 30 pounds away from them tights!!"
I snuck in my camera and took about 100 pictures. Between the beer, the lights, and the laughing? Not ONE of them turned out.
But that's okay. I don't think I could forget this night anyways. The KITH : Carfucker! shirt I bought? Might be my new favorite thing evar.

After the show, we walked in the warm rain to get pizza and visit with Pete's brother. We were talking about the filming, and he told us that Michael Cera is also in town, making a different movie. He's been seen buying salad *LOL*, which about killed me. People gossiping about salad.

As we walked back to the car holding hands, I thought about what my friend Nikki said to me the other day. She told me how proud she was of me for what I've accomplished in the four years she's known me : ultra tiny town girl, moving here basically by myself, building a life and support system that I can really count on, finding my stride. I thought about it more while we were getting ready for work this morning (ew to Saturday work) and Pete was dancing around singing.
"You are so fucking adorable in the mornings, I love that," I told him.
What I really wanted to say, what I really feel, is this :

I am so very thankful for every minute I spend here, every minute of this life that I didn't even imagine I could find. Six years ago I was such a different person : alone, overwhelmed, with big plans I think I somehow always knew would fail, feeling trapped in a place with such little opportunity.
And this morning I'm living in an area I love, kissing the boy I thought I'd never find, and making plans for a life I thought I'd never get to experience.

All of that makes bitching about being at work on a weekend seem a little silly.

fun with paints

2008-05-29T11:03:00.003-04:00

Pete and I? Our relationship is totally going to make it *lol*.

We've been through family stress, moving, loss of a job ... and now? Possibly the most trying test yet.
We spent all weekend painting together. And we both survived!

There was an uncertain moment when we were at the store picking out the paint. Pete didn't really want to choose the colors, and I was trying to let him so that he didn't feel all railroaded into something he wasn't going to like. I'd given him a month to look at swatches online and he'd seemed really into it, had even picked pallates for each room we're painting. But then, in the store, he'd changed his mind, and just seemed really unhappy with everything.
"But," he whined "You're not even taking chaaaarge".
"Oh, I'll take control." and stomped over to the swatches to pick out the colors while he slunk off to the computer to check what they had.

A few minutes later he brought over a print out of what he wanted (good man!) and ... it was perfect! Harmony was restored, life was beautiful.

Two days of work later, our bedroom is two very pretty shades of blue. I'll post some pictures later.

It was really nice to play hermit like that. Usually we spend our weekends running around with friends and sleeping in. This was our last one together for a while (my schedule rotates, and I move to Sun/Mon off this month) and declining offers so we could snuggle together and play video games was perfect. Not to mention getting up at a reasonable hour to clean and paint!

Monday it was time to come out of hibernation. Pete and Mike went to play frisbee golf while Stace and I drove the hour to our nearest outlet mall. I have the funniest sunburn on my chest with a seatbelt line across it. I guess that's what we get for having the top down.
We shopped all day, I went a little crazy. But the sundresses?! They were SO CUTE! And I couldn't pass up a new watch. We had the best jambalaya pizza ever, and then headed home to meet up with the guys for a little while before it was home and to bed to get ready for the work week.

This summer has been so much fun already, and it's just starting!

early weekend? Jenni likes.

2008-05-23T14:52:00.004-04:00

Last night after work, Sarah and I went to a this bar down the street. It's all done up in neon, and looks like a Canadian strip club. Seriously, we were shocked that there was no stripper pole! And I totally woulda used that thing, too. Heh. I was all kinds of sad that I forgot my camera. Which gives me an excuse to go back.
We ordered our drinks and spent the next two hours talking (bitching? gossiping?) about work, men, family, and the crappy waitress who didn't check on us for an hour.
And it was exactly what I needed.
As much as Pete listens and tries to understand, it's like anyone's job : you don't understand all the in-fighting and politics and suck unless you work there. And, unless I've had the Worst.Day.Ever. I generally won't talk about work stuff with Pete. He's the most supportive guy, but I'd rather enjoy the time we have together.
I also needed it because it'd been a super-stressful day at work, and only another co-worker would understand why it was hilarious when a certain someone *slammed* down paperwork on her desk and stormed off to a conference room. And why it was awesome that I was called into that conference room five minutes later, and laid the smack down. Yes, I did.
I don't know what happened to the meek, "yes, ma'am" Jenni who didn't stick up for herself. But that girl? She's gone. I'm by no means confrontational. I just learned that I have a right to speak the truth if someone else is speaking crap. And to do it in a polite, respectful way that still gets my point across.
And cracks my supervisor up.

Around 6:30, Pete and his new co-workers joined us. They are awesome! They're mostly really young (early- to mid-twenties), loud, and funny. So much fun to hang out with. I can understand why he's loving the new job so much.
We had a few more drinks with them and grabbed dinner on the way home.
I spent the rest of the night playing my new DS game (Final Fantasy : Crystal Cronicals. Yes, I am a geek. But it just might be the cutest game I've played yet.) before we went to bed.

Today has been crazy busy, and meeting-ful.
But I'm out of here in an hour. Nikki and I are heading to our favorite hole-in-the-wall to talk about non-work stuff (since we spent awhile today talking about in work stuff) and some $2 wells.

The rest of this weekend is going to be full of painting the new apartment. Heh.
I say that, but really : it's craploads of work! I have really good intentions, and I LOVE the idea of waking up to non-white walls. But margaritas and sun might just win out.
Plus Stace & Mike want to meet up. And who can justify painting when there's laughing and friends and good food?
*sigh*
I am weak.

rockin' out

2008-05-20T10:53:00.004-04:00

Awww....
Originally uploaded by Sweet♡One

In bullets, cuz' really I need to blog more often so I don't get all overloaded with things I want to say.

♡ Friday we had a celebration pot luck at work. Sort of a "way to go, team!" and also because one of our co-workers is getting married. My favorite moment was when Nikki got up and read the card we had gotten for the future wife. FW got misty eyed, the rest of us got misty eyed, it was seriously such a sweet moment. It made me understand that I'm surrounded by fun and positive people even more than I realize.

♡ After that, we picked up Stace & Mike and headed out to a b'day thing for my bestest, Kris. Kris chose to meet up at Mega 80's. They're an 80's cover band and sooooo much fun.
So there were drinks and lots of dancing and did I mention drinks?
At one point the guitarist grabbed some girl's camera to take pictures of her and her friend. Then he pointed it at our group, and of course we got all goofy. So, sorry to the random girl who ended up with pictures of us :(

♡ We woke up late on Saturday and did some stuff around the house. Late that night, we met up with Stace and the Three Mikes (yes, all three were there) for some drinks near the old apartment. Man do we have some some fun friends!

♡ Sunday we napped. Like, a lot. And then did laundry.

♡ Yesterday was filled with meetings at work, including one where we found out that we can dress down every day now, and there will be beer in the employee room! Yes, beer. Every day. And quite possibly wine.
It's not so much that I'd actually drink a beer at work. I just think the whole "casual" atmosphere could be pretty damn cool.

♡ My handsome-est, wonderful Pete put on his suit and tie (the one that matches his eyes - ha!) and started his new job this morning. Good luck, babes! I know you're kickin ass right now.

awesome.

2008-05-15T11:36:00.002-04:00

So, The Boy had an interview last night (it went really well), has one today, and has another one tomorrow.
He is seriously kicking ass. In fact, one of the jobs is about three buildings down from where he used to work. And it would be the same hours. Talk about convenient!

Not that I expected less, but I'm so proud of him.

We've had a few long talks this week, which I think has really brought us closer together. As if that were possible? Mostly, we're just pretty disgustingly cute and happy.

Also, my supe's boss (and one of my bestest) is sending me the most shockingly hilarious texts this morning. If I can think of a way to make 'em less finger-pointy I'll have to share. That girl. She kills me.

Oh! And yesterday, I kind of ran into my Grandfather on MySpace. Yeeeeah. So, just in case .. urhm ... hi, Grandad. I love you.

up and downs

2008-05-13T12:58:00.001-04:00

Life's up and downs
Originally uploaded by CATeyes

Gah, it was a great weekend. We met Stace & Mike for sushi and drinks on Friday, then went next door for drinks. There was a lot of laughing, and Pete ran into a couple of old friends while we were out.
Saturday, the guys played frisbee golf while we girls went shopping. After they got back, we had pizza and watched 'Juno'. Which was as good as I'd heard, and I had to buy the CD. I've had "Vampire" stuck in my head for the last two days.
Sunday we met up with Pete's Mom and brothers for dinner. I think my favorite part of the weekend was watching his Mom kick ass at wii bowling. She was awesome!!! And she's just one of the coolest women.

So yesterday I was sort of worn out from all the fun. We'd decided to buy a wii later this month since we were immediately addicted. I was getting ready to confirm the hotel & rental car for my sister's wedding which is coming up very quickly.

Pete walked in an hour early. I turned around to say "hi" and noticed his face. Knew immediately something was wrong, and knew what it was. Fuck.
He got laid off.

His boss (not the Owner, who'd made the decision) and Pete talked on the phone for a long time last night, which made Pete feel better. He knows it wasn't at all performance based. He knows why the decision was made. I guess that takes some of the sting out for him, but adds to the frustration. If the company had been run correctly, if his boss had any business sense, if suggestions they'd had were implemented ...

I guess we're both just in shock a little bit. I've spent all night making sure he knows that we'll be okay, that I have faith in him, that I know it's for the best (the job was really stressing him out), that he'll have a better job soon.
He applied for unemployment and put in a dozen resumes last night.
We're talking about health insurance options.

So I know things will be okay. This is a very temporary snag which'll only lead us to better things.

But today? It's kind of difficult. I think I'm coming out of the initial OHMAHGAWD-ness of it all and stressing a little bit. I just ... fuck. We were finally at a stage where it wasn't a struggle at all, y'know? Where we could go buy the groceries we wanted without thinking about it. We could go out with friends when we wanted to. Could buy some of the things we wanted for the apartment, and were planning on more of that.

*sigh*

I guess sometimes you just figure you've worked so hard you deserve a little bit of time to let your guard down and relax. And then life happens.

Man. That made me laugh. Melodrama, meet Jenni.

Because then I step back and realize I'm so fucking lucky to have the life I have, the life I'm building with him. So these little set backs? Forget them. In a year I'll barely remember how scary this was. But in a year, Pete and I will be stronger than ever.
And that's what matters.

funny, but not

2008-05-06T15:31:00.001-04:00

Duh !
Originally uploaded by Al- Fassam [ Online! :D ]

We had a long weekend of cleaning, shopping, cooking, sleeping in, and drinks with friends.

Last night after work, it was margarita time! And they were awesome.
And then we came home and I was in bed by 10:30.

But then I was awake until 2. And up at 3:30. And asleep at 4:30. And up at 5. It was nasty!

The alarm went off way too early this morning, and my sweetie took pity on me and drove me into work.
He called a little while later because as he was leaving for work, he locked his keys in the apartment! Poor guy. So he had to walk to where I work, pick up my keys, and walk back since our apartment's office doesn't open until 11.

He says he feels like a dumbass, but he's totally got a great sense of humor about it. I told him that's why I'm so compulsive about checking my pockets three billion times before I shut the door behind me. *lol*

Ach, poor guy.

What a Tuesday.

Also - the tired thing? Totally not normal. I have hypothyroidism, and I thought it's controlled. Apparently not. Also, I'd kind of forgotten it, but I've had around six or seven pretty severe headaches in the last month. This totally isn't like me - I generally get one or two a year, or less. I've always had trouble falling alseep, but now I'm having trouble staying asleep. There're other symptoms, too.
When I woke up today and it'd been the third day in a row I'd barely slept, Pete got really concerned. Yeah - there were margaritas last night which could explain it (although I'd never had that reaction before), but there were only two of them. Plus, there were no drinks the two nights before that.
So he did some research and sent me all this stuff, and I was like DUH. I overlooked that a thyroid problem isn't stabilized just because I get to go for a year without bloodwork - for the first time in 12 or 14 years.
Or maybe I didn't want to face it.
My diet has changed slightly (for the better), I'm getting more exercise now - yeah, all that can affect it.
So, duh again, Jenni.

I have an appointment on June 11th, the earliest my Endo can get me in.
So we'll see!
In the meantime I'm going to try some better-sleep-type stuff to see if that helps. Because, seriously? I'm sleeeeepy.

camera ready

2008-04-30T18:00:00.002-04:00

spotlight
Originally uploaded by johnnyjohnnyma

My company does some work for the Big Three. And our program has been getting a lot of attention lately, since we're the first in the industry that's done it, and the largest program of it's kind.

So the client decided they wanted to do a "behind the scenes/day in the life" type documentary thing to show their employees.

Three of us got chosen to get interviewed. We'd done a spot for a local newscast a few months back, but I was still nervous. This is a lot bigger - it's going out online and it may become a part of their national advertising as well.

The interviewer and camera guy met with us at 9 this morning. We had our area set up, and got rolling.

They did a lot of "b-side" stuff first : shots of us doing our job, stuff like that. Then they started with the interviews.

I was so nervous! And at one point, made a total dork of myself with my big ole' goofy laugh. And I think they'll use it, since after I spoke (and then laughed) the camera guy and interviewer started laughing and then asked me to repeat myself so they could get a better shot of me saying it.
Oh, lord. Of course, Queen Dork. And I think the laugh was even worse the second time.

It took five hours, but was so much fun! I can't wait to see how it turns out. Of course I'm sure I'll hate seeing myself on camera - but seeing my two coworkers and supe will be so exciting! I'm so proud of our team. And this could be really huge for both the client & my company.

We finally went to lunch at two, gorged ourselves, and then it was back to work for an hour before we had another meeting.

So after my walk home, I am wiped. Wiped like I haven't been in a while.

I think it's time to curl up with my honey and watch some crappy tv. Mmm... couch.

Hope you all had a great day, too!

Gelfling

2008-04-29T21:13:00.002-04:00

Jenni/jen
Originally uploaded by Sweet♡One

So, I'm short. Real short. And this has gotten me lots of nicknames : half pint, little one, shorty ... generally nice stuff.

Starting when I was little, I got called Gelfling because people teased that I looked just like Jen from The Dark Crystal. I loooooved that movie (especially the scary parts), and I could deal with looking like a Gelfling.

But I wanted to be the girl, darn it! And Jen was the boy. They were identical puppets, except the boy had dark hair while she was a blond.

So when I uploaded this picture tonight of me messing around at work for my 365 Project over at Flickr (are you doing this? You totally should be!!) it made me laugh.

Yup. I kind of do.
But I'm okay with that now. Mostly :P

note to self

2008-04-29T13:08:00.001-04:00

Zen Garden
Originally uploaded by euart

"Jealousy is nothing more than a fear of abandonment"

Rembember, remember, remember this.
They were all good ones, okay?
Don't forget that.

Maybe some nice Eucalyptus Spearmint instead?

2008-04-28T10:34:00.001-04:00

courtyardflowers2
Originally uploaded by Sweet♡One

The walk to work this morning was wonderful. It was just cool enough, the flowers were out and smelling pretty, and I was feeling warm and fuzzy from a good night's sleep. That hasn't happened in a while.
I'm thinking about getting a bike. Although the walk to work is nothing, the library is a few miles up from there and it'd be easier to bike.

My Mom emailed me this morning : "Yes - Jenni - you are becoming a hippie. And artsy like Aunt Liz. Though
neither is a bad thing - just strange when you started out being so preppy. LOL"
That woman cracks me up. But being compared to my artistic, out-there, wonderful Aunt Liz was an ego boost.
There are definitely worse relatives I could emulate (did I just say that out loud?!?! *lol*) and I think I finally feel like I'm letting go of that scared little Jenni who wouldn't do anything too far out of the norm.

I think that's partly because of the friends I've been blessed with, the wonderful Pete I've been lucky enough to find, and being my age.

But if this is hippie-dom? Hells, bring on the Petuli stank. I'm ready.

Urhm .. but not really. Cuz, ew.

working through it

2008-04-27T15:23:00.001-04:00

Ren Cen
Originally uploaded by Sweet♡One

Man ... *deep breaths*

My week has been non-stop.

It started on the 20th with packing. And more boxes. And ohmahgawdmakeitstop boxes. We took a break to go to the movies sometime on that Friday.
I honestly barely remember being out of the apartment, much less what movie we saw.

Then the blur that was the movers. It took them over four hours. Granted, that included them taking lunch, but it was still insane.
Pete's Dad and Grandad helped him pick up the new bed set (<3!!!) that night, which was nice.
We went out and bought all new bedding, which was even nicer after the crap we'd been sleeping on.
Honestly, it's the first real, grownup bed I've had in so long ...

The first night there felt like sleeping in a hotel. All new, clean, and it's so much bigger and brighter!

The next day we did some shopping. A new desk for me, desk chairs, floor lamps, an end table to match the coffee table. It was insane and fun. But I was wiped.

Back to work and I actually walked, which was awesome. It's so nice to be out there in the sunlight and early morning no-traffic, with all the flowering trees and dew. It's a nice way to get my head out of the day and just de-stress.

Thursday we had a big meeting at the Ren Cen, so it was a very, very long day. The meeting was really productive, though. And the client was really impressed with our team and how we all get along,
Which, for the most part, is totally true. We're a really diverse team, but we have a lot of respect for each other and we genuinely get along.

Over the weekend, we did some grocery shopping and I had a work party to go to. I also finished up at the old place and turned in the keys.

And ... well, crap. It's been so busy.
I had a mini-meltdown or two.
I'm tired of looking at empty boxes, which are sort of in the way of putting anything else in the right place. And I just want it to be DONE so I can enjoy our new space.
But work is sapping my energy.
And, dammit, sometimes I just want five minutes to veg out.

*sigh*

Pete is super amazing, though. Honestly. I couldn't ask for someone more supportive or understanding.
In fact, while I've been at work today he's been getting all the boxes out of the apartment and making chili!!
Also, he just told me that he invited some friends over for dinner.
Which would have me totally stressed (seriously, living room = WRECK) but I think I'm just too over it to care.

They're good peoples. They'll understand :P

Thinky

2008-04-15T11:42:00.001-04:00

261-Anti-stress
Originally uploaded by gillespinault

It seems that work isn't going the way I want it to be today. Which, I know, is life and I should just buck up and deal with.
Except, for myriad reasons that I won't get into here - I'm sort of planting my feet stubbornly and pouting. I don't know if that's good. Probably not constructive. But, dammit, nothing seems to be constructive!
'Here - follow this avenue for change...' she says.
I do. Nothing changes. Co-workers agree, feel stress, give up on anything changing.
'Here - follow this' she says again.
'We tried that, remember?' gently, oh so gently.
'This time will be different! If I don't know, I can't help!'
That sounds lovely. Just like the past six times you've said it.

The apartment is a mess of boxes, of course. But that's leading to Happy Fun Times so it's been much less stressful than I thought. It's exciting and wonderful, and I can't wait.
I have my Pete to cuddle up next to at night, his heavy arm thrown around me and a sleepy little smile on his beautiful face.
There've been really fun times with friends lately. And good catch-up phone calls with the ones I haven't seen in a while. There was even a great conversation with my sister (and that is still very brand new to me). Two amazing shows and a family vacation are all ahead of us.

So why the hell can't I stop feeling this weird mix of apathy-anger-loss-frustration when it comes to my 2:30 meeting? It's just work, and you are doing it Jenni!
Life outside of these cheerfully-colored walls is getting better every day. So stop letting it drag you down.

Sometimes I need a little pep talk.

running around

2008-04-13T14:21:00.004-04:00

Another super-busy weekend. I think that's going to be the Way Things Are for the next month or so.

Friday, we met up with Nikki and Stace for some more happy hour. Nikki brought her Mom along and that woman is awesome. She's the funniest thing ever.
Nikki didn't like how she kept trying to monitor her drinks (hilarious!!!) and I kept wondering what it'd be like to go out with my non-drinky, seemingly-straightlaced-but-that-humor-will-knock-you-on-your-ass-everytime Mamasan.
After happy hour there, we went down the street to another little dive bar for karaoke. I think I'm becoming an addict or something. Is there a recovery program for that? There weren't many people there in the beginning, so our little group dominated the stage for a while. We even got Pete up there! That might've been the highlight of my night.
Or maybe it was sharing ex stories. Stace is so much fun, and I can't wait until I'm living closer to her. Yes, girl, you can totally be my stalker.

Saturday we had a yummy breakfast and then decided that we were bored. So bored. And what would help with that?! Shopping! So we headed out to the Gibralter Center for a flea market type deal they had going on.
We didn't go all crazy since we're not exactly sure how we're going to set everything up in the new apartment (7 days 'til we move!) but I did snag a really cool painting of a hot air balloon for $1. I'll post a picture later on, but I think it'll go great in the new "Jenni area" we're mapping out.

I'm at work now, but since it's cold and snowy (damn Michigan) I'm not too upset at being stuck inside.

Hope you all had a great weekend, too.

parties! spring! chassis?

2008-04-08T11:53:00.002-04:00

first flowers 2
Originally uploaded by Sweet♡One

The last few days of my life, in bullets.

♡ Friday night we went over to see Kris and Sean's new house and pick up some boxes for our own move. Oh, their house is so cute!!! They have this awesome little "Laura Ingalls" type staircase up to the kid's rooms. And their breakfast nook is just .... and ... oh too much to list. Now i'm going to make sad faces at Kris until she posts pictures. Because I want to covet them, too.

♡ After visiting Kris and Sean, we headed out to meet up with Nikki for some karaoke. We were going to hang out with Michelle instead - but due to some drama & other stuffis, we decided to catch up with Nikki.
This place? Friggin' U.P. awesome! Heh. There were moose heads, deer heads, antlers ... all kinds of stuff on the walls. Buckets of beer and more mullets than I could count. I had a few drinks and then it was karaoke time.
I won a karaoke contest a while back, and Nikki was convinced I needed to get up there. In front of Pete. Who's never heard me really sing before. I was so nervous.
But apparently not nervous enough to stop me from going up with them later to do Strokin'. Heh. I totally nailed that song.

♡ Saturday morning came early. So we slept through it. That night we went to a b'day party for Shawn that her boyfriend had put together. We chatted with her family and had some of the strangest/yummiest cake. I swear I don't even know what flavor the icing was? Jellybean? But, yummy.

♡ Sunday was the prettiest day around here in forever! I'd almost forgotten what warm breezes felt like. When I got home from work, Pete and I decided to take a walk down to the park and soak up the sun. It seemed like everyone else had the same idea, so we got to "awwww" over some dogs and wander around holding hands. He is the sweetest.
We ended up having dinner at Paint Creek, and sat on the patio overlooking the water with the sun in our eyes. But after months of darkness, how is that not one of the best feelings ever?

♡ Yesterday, my boss had jury duty so I got to train the new hires on engine & chassis. I've already trained on our different vehicles (and am scheduled to do that again tomorrow) ... but engine? Aw, lawd!! I hadn't looked at that stuff in over a year! I was soooo nervous.
Luckily the new hires are super nice, and super easy to train.
I even got told I was very "professional and understanding" because I didn't get upset when one of them needed me to explain something in a different way.
I was all : Dude? I'm just thankful I understand it enough to be able to do that! Thank you for asking!

In short, I need a nap. But I have gotten a LOT of packing done.
One week, five days.
I can't wait!!

Again. Again!

2008-04-03T15:19:00.003-04:00

Dear Kids in the Hall tickets,

I watched my first episode of KITH something like 16 years ago now. Wow. I can’t believe it’s been that long. I don’t remember the first skit I saw, but I was immediately addicted.

Cue years of running around it’s my daaa-aaay-ing and I don’t spread for no roses-ing. I’d tell everyone about it.

‘Aren’t they those gay guys?’ Yes, that was the kind of microscopic town I grew up in.
‘Who cares either way?! They’re awesome!’

I didn’t convert everyone, but did manage to get a few of my closest friends and my parents to watch it. Often. Every once in a while my Dad would bust out a quote and I'd about die laughing. He does a killer Gavin impression.
At one time, I might have had a What would Bellini do? bumper sticker.
Oh, yes.

When they went on their first tour, I was so excited I could barely stand it. I got tickets for a Minneapolis show because with free flights (I worked at the airport at that time) and the fact the shows in Michigan were sold out, it made sense.
My friend Jody and I spent three days in Minnie, checking out the Mall of America and having fun. I spent the whole time just waiting for the show.

Like I’ve said, SmallTown. I hadn’t been to many concerts or anything else by that time. When the bright lights came on, theme music playing, and there they were!! I was thrilled.
The Fab Five didn’t disappoint. I can still remember most of the show. They were still – maybe even more - funny. And Brucio? Love.

A few years later, they toured again. This time Michele and I made the six-hour drive to Detroit to see them. We stayed with my BFF and her husband.
I was leaving for Australia the next morning, and I was almost more excited about the show. In hindsight, that was pretty smart of me. Heh.
This time was less polished, less professional. That almost made it better. The guys seemed to be having more fun. I still have some blurry, far-off pictures of that. I’m the only one who can tell who is who, but that’s okay. I still remember that is Dave, about to grab Kevin’s junk.
eeeeevil!

This morning, Pete emailed me letting me know that KITH is touring again!! And that they’re going to be about four miles from the new apartment.

And OMG, little tickets, I almost jumped in little happy circles all over the office. Maybe I actually did a little bit.

I got online, and the 11pm (“adults only”) show was sold out. Which makes me sad just a little bit. But we did score tickets for the earlier show!!

So I’ll be there, on May 30th, remembering and ready to laugh.

Thank you, sweet little pieces of paper that will soon be in my hands.
Jenni

hands

2008-04-02T13:08:00.005-04:00

Dear Jack White’s new haircut ~

Holy hell.
Thank you.

Just, seriously. Wow.

I’ve been drooling over Jack for years now. And when he used to live OMG-so-close to me, my friends would joke about what I’d do when I ran into him. Because it was so going to happen one day.

I’d be sitting in a local bar. He’d walk in, his six-foot-whatever versus my four-foot-eleven. Yeah, I’m not generally into tall guys, but I’d make an exception for Jack. *hair flip* I’d get all fan-girly at first, but our eyes would meet and he’d smile. The tension would be broken.

“And then?” one of them would snort (disbeliever!!! I’d want to shout.).

“I’d take him home and bathe him. He wouldn’t have to do anything but sit in the bathtub and sing to me. For days.”

Jack’s what we call my dirty crush. The guys who are just a little on the side of the scale where you question personal hygiene. But they’re so hawt that it doesn’t even matter. Just grab a loofa baby.
The kind of crush you mostly have to defend.
I had a friend once who said something about a “Jack Black & Jack White sammich” and we were instantly bonded for life. Cuz she gets it.

But now? He looks clean cut. Striking. F’ing handsome like he hasn’t in a while. And, shockingly, kind of like this guy I went on two dates with after years of friendship, back when I was 19 or 20.

In short, Jack White’s New Haircut? *reowr*

xoxo,
Jenni

p.s. Karen, I may be harboring a little jealousy, but if this is your doing? Bravo, Mrs.
Bravo.

p.s.s. Wow. Was that almost W.S. fan fic? I’m so ashamed.

an open letter

2008-04-01T14:23:00.002-04:00

♪♫ Love letters straight from your heart ♪♫
Originally uploaded by cattycamehome

Dear Knot That Is Making My Life Hell ~

Look, I’ve been told that my shoulder is a pretty comfortable place.

Pete loves to bury his face there and plant gentle little kisses along the ridge of my clavicle. He does this until I start giggling and squirming like the teenager I still sometimes am. Then he’ll pull back and smile at me, and oh, knot .. there isn’t much I wouldn’t do for that smile.

When my niece was younger, my shoulder seemed like her favorite place in the world. She’d snuggle up to the side of my face and fall right asleep. With as much love as I’ve been lucky enough to feel in my life, with the billions of wonderful moments I’ve been blessed with, I think I’ll always count that as my favorite. A sweet smelling little bundle of amazingness all cuddled up and finding safety because of you? What can compare to that?

These shoulders have braved hideous sunburns that left them freckled, sub-zero temps when even the twelve layers of winter clothing didn’t help, and lifting seventy-pound bags to lift into the cargo bin of a aircraft (time after time after time). Supposedly the birth mark there matches the one my Grandfather had, although I’ve never met him to compare the coffee-splatter print.

Since early yesterday morning, you’ve made my life a little rough. We tried stretching, massaging, hot baths, ice for the swelling (THAT was a mistake!!!), sitting upside down in a chair, and just leaving you alone.
None of it has worked so far.
If anything, you’ve doubled in size.

I understand that my shoulders can be pretty comfy. But really, it’s time for you to go. Or, as much as I hate the stuff, I’m gunna have to Ben Gay your ass.

Fair warning,
xoxo,
Jenni

ouchie the laughing

2008-03-31T14:33:00.003-04:00

I have the biggest knot between my shoulder blades, and it's been there for eight hours. Rauurgh!! owie, owie, owie
I keep moving into all the crazy positions to get it to crack or pop or stretch or whatever it needs to do. It hasn't worked yet. I've been careful that I'm not all stretched backwards over my chair when someone walks by *lol*, although I'm positive at least one person has noticed all the moving around and stuff.
So mostly I've been all curled up in a ball in my chair, counting the minutes until a certain someone with strong hands can help me out for a minute or two. I'm awfully short, so being curled up in the chair works.

It's one of those days where everything is in too much in the future. It's grey-ish and wet outside, boring and slow inside ... and there's so much to look forward to. And right now none of it is close enough to happening.

It seems like my friends are doing their best to keep me distracted.
Nikki stopped by and told me the funniest story about an ex co-worker (and friend of hers) that ended with, "..and why she gotta be so crazy? I told her, Jenni never brings the drama like that!" which almost made me spit water out my nose.

That's right Nik. In the four years we've been bestest-friends, we may've stumbled home more nights than we can count. Gotten more free drinks than we deserved. Flashing may've happened a time or two (I'll never tell). A certain someone may've gotten us kicked out of a karoke bar for flipping a table over. One of us may've made out with heaps of boys in different bands. And it's just possible that I met my future husband on a night when one or more of those things happened, along with some microphone grabbin'.
But, no, I never had a baby mama call me and then threaten to kick my butt. I've been smart enough to steer clear of that one.

Oh, the funny. It makes my shoulders hurt less.

need spring

2008-03-30T12:51:00.001-04:00

flower macro
Originally uploaded by Sweet♡One

It's so nice out there today. Still a little snowy-cold from the breeze, but better than it has been lately. The snow is almost melted again.
I'm tired of winter. Of grey snow and greyer skies.

I'm ready for warm breezes, BBQ-ing, drinks on our (new!!!) balcony. Ready for tank tops and long walks in the sun. To burn the sweaters I've been wearing every day for the last six months at work. I need sunglasses and green.

*sigh*

I had the opportunity to pick up and move 1/2-way around the world, where it's almost always sunny and smells pretty.
Although I don't for one moment regret the choice I had to make (life turned out so much better than that) every once in a while I wonder if the weather itself would've been worth the sacrifices.

Then I look over at his picture and smile. Nah, I made the right decision.

not one of my virtues

2008-03-28T17:04:00.000-04:00

I have always been a very impatient person. I can't play a full game of Monopoly, I can't stand to wait more than five minutes to leave the house if I've already got my coat and shoes on, it drives me nuts to have everything planned and not be able to put that plan into action.

Yeah, Pete's a lucky guy, inn't he? :P

Today has been kind of like that. The movers are confirmed, I'm almost done getting the utilities scheduled to be switched. Aaaand ...

Now I'm sitting here. We're going to be picking up boxes from Kris tonight so I can start packing. I know we're not moving for three weeks (+2 days) but work can get crazy and I definitely don't want to be all stressed-out that weekend because there's heaps of stuff left to do. I haven't moved in three years and I honestly can't imagine how much crap I've accumulated in that time.
We've got three closets that can certainly be packed up now. Plus the bathroom stuff we barely use. The junk drawer in the kitchen. The special plates we've only used twice.
The list is getting longer in my head while I type this out.

Pete's office is also moving (this weekend, actually) so the poor guy is on overload. That's okay. Most of the stuff in the apartment is mine, anyways. Let's just get the boxes so I can start! I swear you can sit there and have a beer or six while you play Bully, babes. We'll both be happier that way.

Maybe I'll start the Atwood book I bought the other night. That might keep my attention for thirty seconds.

a good hand

2008-03-27T10:32:00.001-04:00

Day №86/365 - a good hand
Originally uploaded by Sweet♡One

I was a total gaming geek in early high school. I'm a bit ashamed to admit that.

I had two best friends, Dave and Scott. I met them the summer I was fourteen. I went to a camp every summer from then until I graduated high school, and the first day of my first summer I met Dave.
I'll write a longer post about my friendship with these two awesome guys later, but hanging out with them lead to learning the intricate rules of Cthulu, flashlight-lit gaming sessions, and telling stories that ended with : "...and he was on FIRE! Jumped off a CLIFF! And he survived, man. Tony Capote survived with a sprained-freakin-ankle!!"
Oh, yes. Geekness.

A couple of nights ago Pete and I were talking. I realized we don't do all that much fun stuff together if it doesn't involve going out with friends. Granted, it's hard in Michigan during the winter. There's just not much to do outside. Also, most of our friends live a bit of a drive away and we've been guilty of not making the effort to spend time with them.
[That's another reason why the new place will be better - we'll be closer to friends and in a more convenient place for them to visit.]

We started batting around ideas and decided we'd try a game. Pete's not the biggest on board games (and was worried his lack of losing gracefully would piss me off) so that idea wasn't going over too well.

Until we found "Munchkin".

He'd already played it and loved it, and since I'm a former (ahem..) gaming geek, I totally get the humor. It's fast playing and doesn't take heaps of concentration so it's relaxing.

Mix that with a drink or two? We had such a great night. After we get all settled in to the new place, we're going to have everyone over for a game night. And I'm hoping that becomes sort of a ritual.
Any excuse to spend more time with our friends works for me!

victory dance

2008-03-25T11:35:00.000-04:00

Okay, now that's done and I think I've moved over everything I wanted to. *whew*

Pete and I have been looking for a new apartment for a little while. Our current place is getting just too small for two people. Also, I've been there for three years, it's time for a change.

Last week he went to check out some apartments while I was at work, and just fell in luuurve with one of them. I've seriously never heard him so excited! He took pictures and went on and on about it. And it was great on paper - much bigger for not much more money, just all kinds of cool stuff. Also very close to both of our offices, which is good on so many levels.

We went together last Thursday so I could see it. And ohmahgah, Pete did good. We left the paperwork with the leasing agent (who was just the neatest person) and crossed our fingers.

With the holiday weekend, she said it may take a while. We spent all day yesterday on pins & needles while she was checking everything, and promised to update us today.

Ten minutes ago we got the call - and we're in!!! We move on April 20th. I am so beyond geeked!

Now it's time to go confirm a mover, get boxes ... *squee*
Luckily my best friend is in the process of moving right now, too, so she's offered all of her boxes. Thanks Kris :) And thanks everyone who sent good thoughts our way.

101 Things Catch-up

2008-03-25T11:24:00.001-04:00

Whew! After this post I'll have everything caught up for that. And then some exciting news :P

Also, if anyone is interested I started a Flickr group where is you're pariticipating in this and taking pictures, it's located here.

#2 - Make my nephew laugh.
He's a special kid, for sure. And his laugh is a bit rare and very awesome.

#57 - Snowball fights!
We had heaps of these over the winter. Pete started most of them, and I won a few. Heh. Domination!

№76 - replacement necklace

2008-03-25T11:21:00.001-04:00

№76 - replacement necklace
Originally uploaded by Sweet♡One

I lost my favorite necklace and wanted to find a new one that I loved.

Pete got me this one for Christmas. Thanks, honey.

№80 - go through pictures with Mom

2008-03-25T11:20:00.001-04:00

№80 - go through pictures with Mom
Originally uploaded by Sweet♡One

My Mom got a huge stack of pictures from my Grandad and Great Aunt. We sat down over Christmas and went through them. There were some great pictures!

№47 - monopoly

2008-03-25T11:18:00.001-04:00

№47 - monopoly
Originally uploaded by Sweet♡One

#47 - play a full game of Monopoly. I never have the patience for this, so I played Monopoly with my niece.

Princess Monopoly totally counts :P

№s1, 87, 86

2008-03-25T11:13:00.001-04:00

№s1, 87, 86
Originally uploaded by Sweet♡One

#87 - Make a recipe book for Pete. I did this as part of his Christmas present.
#1 - introduce my niece to Madeline L'Engle. My first series of 'favorite books', I read them when I was about five or six years old. I think she was a big part of why I love reading so much. I hope my niece digs 'em (she got a new copy for Christmas, in my pic is my 30-year-old, well-loved copy).
#86 - bought my moleskine planner... and I <3 it!

№43 - 100 things

2008-03-25T11:10:00.001-04:00

№43 - 100 things
Originally uploaded by Sweet♡One

#43 - list 101 things that make me happy. This was both easier and more difficult than I thought it would be! I tried to think of thing that I'm in control of rather than things I need someone else to do for me. That way I could be all : having a bad day?! Do number 82! or whatever.

101 things

2008-03-25T10:14:00.000-04:00

I've decided to participate in the 101 things in 1001 days project. I think it'll be a great motivator for me, and a way to get myself out of this rut I've been in. Take charge, right? My ending date will be August 14th, 2010. I'll be documenting as much as possible over at Flickr, and reporting back here.
So here's my list so far. I do have a few more to add, as I go along :

[ones struck through are completed]

Family
~~1. Share Madeline L'Engle books with Bunk.~~ Christmas 2007
~~2. Make my nephew laugh.~~ Christmas 2007
3. Write Juli a letter letting her know how much I love her.
4. Go fishing with Dad, even though I hate it.
5. Ask Mom to teach me how to crochet. Again :)
6. Visit Grandma T's grave and take purple flowers.
7. Have a night out with Juli.
8. Make John & Juli a wedding book.
9. Forgive Dot.
10. Have a real conversation with Michele.
80. Go through Grandad's pictures with Mom. 12/23/07

Friends
11. Make a new friend.
12. Have drinks with Michelle, and really listen to her POV re: her bf.
13. Visit with Tasha (here or there).14. Have a movie watching night with Kris. Add lots of wine.
15. Meet at least one online friend that I haven't yet.
16. Go to a jazz club with Nikki.
17. Go to a country bar with the girls. No kicking or screaming allowed.
18. Do something nice for Sarah to thank her for everything.

Relationship
19. Kiss in the snow.
20. Write Pete a love letter.
21. Watch a sunrise or sunset together.
22. Introduce Pete to the wonder & beauty that is "The Commitments".
23. Get married.
24. Kiss under the Mistletoe.
25. Romantic weekend away.
26. Let him cook me a fish dinner and try it w/out making the Nasty Face.
97. Take pictures in a photobooth.

Crafty
27. Write a short story.
28. Complete 365 Days on Flickr.
29. Submit a postcard to Post Secret.
30. Write & illustrate another children's book.
31. Print my favorite digital pics to replace the ones in the apartment.
32. Make Pete the scarf he asked for.
33. Make a piece of jewelry.
34. Create my personal mission statement.
35. Sew one shirt or dress for myself.
36. Do a sketch, no matter how cheesy.
37. Make a drawing/painting and hang in the livingroom/bedroom.
38. Find a way to preserve Grandma's vignette.
39. Make my favorite quote into art, hang in apartment.
40. Learn to make a folded paper star.
41. Audition for a play.
82. Write one haiku.
~~87. Make a recipe book for Pete.~~ Christmas 2007
96. Make at least one ATC.

Jen-betterment
42. Get a new job where I feel like I'm actually helping someone.
~~43. Identify 100 things that make me happy.~~ completed 11.24.07
44. Dance alone.
45. Wear red - and rock it!
46. Learn more about hypothyroidism.
~~47. Play a full game of Monopoly.~~ 12/24/07
48. Watch the scariest movie I can find, alone in the dark. Be fine with it.
49. Volunteer at one charity event.
50. Learn more about Autism.
51. Find a hat I love but think I look goofy in. Wear in public.
81. Learn to make a real omelet(not a scramble).
83. Learn to knot a tie.
84. Drive to one new place without making one wrong turn.
90. Take a sewing class.
94. Learn more about epilepsy.

Places to go/Things to do
52. Finally get a tattoo.
53. See the White Stripes live!
54. Go camping.
55. Re-read Stephen King's Dark Tower Series [0/7]
56. Watch Casablanca for the first time.
~~57. Have a snowball fight.~~ Lots of times, started Dec 07.
58. Sing at karaoke.
59. Re-read Wuthering Heights, see if it's still crap.
60. Put photos in (a) pretty album(s)
61. Visit Chicago.
62. Spend a day in bed reading.
63. Go to a museum.
64. Find a great little black dress.
65. See a movie at the drive-in.
66. Hear an author read from their work.
67. See something at IMAX.
68. Learn how to make a perfect Appletini.
69. Spend a morning at Eastern Market.
70. Visit a winery.
71. Get my first message.
72. Go to a play.
73. Go to the zoo.
74. Finish FFXII.
75. Go horseback riding.
91. Get my first pedicure *eek*

Consumer-ism-ish
~~76. Find & buy a replacement necklace.~~ present Christmas 2007
77. Buy a really good bed.
78. Buy a new (to me) car.
79. Buy a better dining set.
85. Get new glasses.
~~86. Buy two moleskine day planners (one for use as an art journal).~~ 12/20/07
88. Buy a filing cabinet for Pete.
89. Buy, read & complete "You Can Do It!"
92. Buy 'The Daring Book for Girls'
93. Support someone on Etsy (although this may become an addiction)
95. Buy a 'Softer World' print.

Timeline, Age 0 to 5

2008-03-24T17:04:00.000-04:00

So here's to a new blog, and getting myself back into the habit of actual writing. I figured I could start by really introducing myself.

Age 0 - I'm born to two young almost-hippies. My parents met when they were fourteen years old. My Mom was walking her dog somewhere along eight-and-a-half Mile Road in Detroit (okay, technically Warren) when Goliath, a monstrous Saint Bernard, plowed her into my Dad's path. Following four years of one of the most romantic stories I've ever heard (young love! young love that worked!) they were married. A year later, I arrive. When I'm six months old, they pack up and leave that small Warren house for Iowa. My Dad wants to make his way, be his own man, and he loves the wilderness. My Mom knows she can make herself happy whereever my Dad happens to be.

Age 1 - We're living in a farmhouse in the middle of nowhere in Iowa. My Dad is working heaps of jobs, including helping to run an enormous hog farm. We also have a couple of dogs, and when they snub me I start creating my imaginary friends. At one point a new litter of puppies backs me up against a tree, and they almost smother me. I'm too busy giggling to realize the danger and luckily my Dad saves me.

Age 2 - My sister Juli is born. Her perfect newborn beauty hides the truth : she is, and always will be, the most stubborn spitfire. That's just part of her charm. I continue talking to my imaginary friends, as Ju doesn't quite talk yet. It won't take long for her to assert herself, though. Her first words are, "No, Jenni."

Age 3 - A big year. I've started reading, and can't get enough of it. My Dad and I are wrestling around the coffee table one night, and he tries to tell me to stop because I might get hurt. In my enthusiasm I don't listen, he puts his hand out to stop me but I slip under it and catch my lip on the sharp edge of the table. I need many stitches. This is the first time my young parents have to deal with their child getting hurt, and they are a wreck. I don't start crying (despite the blood) until our truck gets stuck on the muddy back road on the way to the hospital and my Dad gets scared about it. My Mom's friend ends up being the one to accompany me into the actual office (while my poor Mom almost faints in the waiting room). No one needed to worry, I was a trooper. The doctor would let me talk to him excitedly for a few seconds and then say, very gently, "Hold on for a sec, honey, we have to put another stitch in.". As soon as he was done, the talking would start back up.
That scar still shapes my lip.

Age 4 - After realizing that Iowa wasn't quite right for them (or at least that part of it), we pack up and move back to Warren. We stay a few months until my Grandparents make the decision to move to Michigan's U.P. and my parents think they'd like to follow. We end up in a very old farmhouse on top of a hill, 30 miles away from the nearest grocery store. My Dad thinks he's found heaven.
The farmhouse is scary and dusty, there's something not-quite-right about it. There are rooms upstairs with too many corners and when my Grandfather decides to tear down the bricking (to redo it, athough that never happens) it looks even worse, even more skeletal. The only good part of it is the orchard outside. At least eight different kinds of apples, and climbing the trees gives us something to do when we're not exploring the pole barn. I'm too little to explore much on my own, that will come later.
I start pre-school a short walk from the building where I'll attend school until I'm 18, and I will graduate high school with almost all of the kids I meet on my first day there.

Age 5 - I start kindergarten with a very high reading level. My teacher decides to send me and another boy (Carl T.W.) to visit with the special reading teacher every day. I love this woman. She lets Carl and I choose our own books from the school library. She gets this little smile on her face whenever I show her the book I've chosen, and I know (although I don't understand why) that I'm funny to her. When we drive the 30 miles to the real library, my Mom has to have it out with the librarian. The librarian wants me to stay in the little kids section and my Mom wants me to read to my level. Mom wins.
Carl is an enthusiastic, adorable, dorky boy with huge glasses. My family calls him "The Owl". We are married with dandelion wedding bands in the playground one day at recess, surrounded by classmates.

Hi.

2008-03-24T15:46:00.000-04:00

So I figured I needed a place away from the usual "whine-fest" where I occasionally blog. Somewhere more "really me" and somewhere I can chronicle the veddy, veddy long walk we're going to have down the aisle.

Yup, right now we're aiming for June of 2009. Seems like a very long time from now.

I wanted someplace linked to the real me (the real "us"?) and not a wedsite. Although I'm not saying you won't occasionally get schmoopy colors or a picture or twelve of really hideous cake toppers.

It's sort of Jenni 2.0 (with more wedding!).