The past six months has been awe-inspiring, crazy, horrible & wonderful.
I got laid off in December.
Got married legally on Christmas Day in a really tiny (tiny) ceremony at my parent's place up north. It was one of the most meaningful moments of my life, I shook more while reading my vows then I can explain.
Our kitten passed away in February.
Pete's Grandfather passed away in March. We had an intimate wake for him, and I felt really accepted into the family fold. I watched my husband grow a lot in those days, the way he dealt with his grief made me love him in completely different ways, for his strength and grace.
I got a new job in April. It pays more than I was making before, and is a much different environment.
We got 'weddinged' in June with 100 of our nearest-and-dearest. And, oh, the stress that came out in me!! I hadn't realized I could be like that, but I finally understand. The whole weekend was packed with visiting family and all kinds of silliness. I don't know if I'd ever have the strength to do it again, but I loved every second of it.
Other than that, it's been discing and hanging out with friends and snuggling the new kitten (we adopted her in April). Life is crazy and busy, but I think I'm ready to come back to this site.
I missed it.
Thursday, July 2, 2009
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
count down
Yesterday afternoon, we got the meeting notice. Since then it's been all rumor & wild speculation.
They've called in the people who were scheduled off!
Midnight shift has to be here, too! That can't be good.
If it's the 'I have a dream' speech instead of actual information, I'm going to be angry that I had to come in.
We find out at 4 today. At least, the meeting is at 4. Whether we are given any specifics or concrete information remains to be seen. It sounds like we will be. Every answer we're given when we ask about anything beyond this week is : "Why don't you hold off until the meeting?".
I'm not all that nervous, anymore. Although I'm hoping we're employed until January 1st. Have I said that? I'm sure I already have.
It's been one hell of a week already. Our weekend was spent dealing with (or, rather, trying not to get involved) in friend drama. It's been sad and kind of shocking, and I think I've lost a friend in the process.
But she's doing what she has to do, and I've done all I can to keep up the divide between understanding and not being a part of it. Because it had nothing to do with me, wasn't my right to pass judgement or even KNOW about any of it. When people make decisions that affect you even when you're trying your best to do just that, it's difficult. She's dealing with a lot right now, so is he, and I can't imagine what that would be like. Don't want to imagine.
One good thing that's come from this whole situation is that it's made Pete and I realize how very (very very) lucky we are. We can honestly trust one another, and that's huge. Also, I think he's learning to build those walls between our friendships and our life, and that's a big lesson for him. He wants to give so much and be so much for other people, and it's admirable and wonderful and I love him for it. But we also have to make sure that we're stable and okay, too.
Whew!
Man ... yeah, all I can think about is curling up with either a good book or my DS, maybe have a drink or two, possibly in the bath ...
They've called in the people who were scheduled off!
Midnight shift has to be here, too! That can't be good.
If it's the 'I have a dream' speech instead of actual information, I'm going to be angry that I had to come in.
We find out at 4 today. At least, the meeting is at 4. Whether we are given any specifics or concrete information remains to be seen. It sounds like we will be. Every answer we're given when we ask about anything beyond this week is : "Why don't you hold off until the meeting?".
I'm not all that nervous, anymore. Although I'm hoping we're employed until January 1st. Have I said that? I'm sure I already have.
It's been one hell of a week already. Our weekend was spent dealing with (or, rather, trying not to get involved) in friend drama. It's been sad and kind of shocking, and I think I've lost a friend in the process.
But she's doing what she has to do, and I've done all I can to keep up the divide between understanding and not being a part of it. Because it had nothing to do with me, wasn't my right to pass judgement or even KNOW about any of it. When people make decisions that affect you even when you're trying your best to do just that, it's difficult. She's dealing with a lot right now, so is he, and I can't imagine what that would be like. Don't want to imagine.
One good thing that's come from this whole situation is that it's made Pete and I realize how very (very very) lucky we are. We can honestly trust one another, and that's huge. Also, I think he's learning to build those walls between our friendships and our life, and that's a big lesson for him. He wants to give so much and be so much for other people, and it's admirable and wonderful and I love him for it. But we also have to make sure that we're stable and okay, too.
Whew!
Man ... yeah, all I can think about is curling up with either a good book or my DS, maybe have a drink or two, possibly in the bath ...
Friday, December 5, 2008
Kate, the woman who sits across from me, is a wonder. She and her sister both work here, and I've worked with her sister before. They're vivacious, funny, sweet, faith-driven women who have a lot going on in their lives. They're the first to help if someone needs it, the first to offer compassion and understanding. They're very involved in their church, the same church a lot of people around here attend.
They'll pop out with the occasional "amen" or "testify!" when they're listening to gospel music and it never fails to make me giggle a little bit.
If you hadn't gathered, I'm not a very religous person. But, I have so much respect for any beliefs that make someone else want to be a better person, and it's obvious their religion does just that for these sisters.
This morning, Kate had brought in breakfast. For the first time ever, I actually hear her pray : "Lord, we're waiting on the 12th to know where we stand here, and that we may be jobless. We give it unto your hands, trusting you'll lead us to the right place as you always do."
Kate just had a baby, she's been back from maternity leave for about three weeks. She's missing her son, needing the money that working brings, trying to find some balance between the two. Yet she sounded so serene and so trusting, not an ounce of the stress the rest of us feel in her voice. I've heard her voice her worries before, but in that moment they seemed gone.
If she can have that much faith and trust with so much new responsibility, shouldn't I?
I need to trust in The Universe (or what have you) to take care of me, while still pushing my resume out there. It's a hard line to walk for me. But I'm learning.
I'm thankful for the lesson.
They'll pop out with the occasional "amen" or "testify!" when they're listening to gospel music and it never fails to make me giggle a little bit.
If you hadn't gathered, I'm not a very religous person. But, I have so much respect for any beliefs that make someone else want to be a better person, and it's obvious their religion does just that for these sisters.
This morning, Kate had brought in breakfast. For the first time ever, I actually hear her pray : "Lord, we're waiting on the 12th to know where we stand here, and that we may be jobless. We give it unto your hands, trusting you'll lead us to the right place as you always do."
Kate just had a baby, she's been back from maternity leave for about three weeks. She's missing her son, needing the money that working brings, trying to find some balance between the two. Yet she sounded so serene and so trusting, not an ounce of the stress the rest of us feel in her voice. I've heard her voice her worries before, but in that moment they seemed gone.
If she can have that much faith and trust with so much new responsibility, shouldn't I?
I need to trust in The Universe (or what have you) to take care of me, while still pushing my resume out there. It's a hard line to walk for me. But I'm learning.
I'm thankful for the lesson.
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
a reminder to myself
There's a high-level meeting in about 30 minutes that will pretty much determine my program's future in light of yesterday's Big Three news. Then our team and company management (but not us) have a meeting at 1 to discuss the first meeting.
I should be worried. It seems like everyone around me is. There's reason to be.
But, it's been a month of stress and worry. Every day seems to add to it. I can't handle that constantly, I need to step away and just breathe. Even (maybe especially) this morning.
Life is constantly changing. I've done my best to do a good job here, and I've continued to reach out to other opportunities. What comes will come, and somehow I'll get through it.
In the meantime, I'll sit here and try to continue thinking postitively. Everything leads to the next thing, and it will be different and better.
Better would be nice.
I should be worried. It seems like everyone around me is. There's reason to be.
But, it's been a month of stress and worry. Every day seems to add to it. I can't handle that constantly, I need to step away and just breathe. Even (maybe especially) this morning.
Life is constantly changing. I've done my best to do a good job here, and I've continued to reach out to other opportunities. What comes will come, and somehow I'll get through it.
In the meantime, I'll sit here and try to continue thinking postitively. Everything leads to the next thing, and it will be different and better.
Better would be nice.
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
kitten triggers
Last night when we walked in the door with sushi and treats for Spot, I was one red-eyed, tired-out mess of a Jenni.
The night before, a plow truck had come through the lot next to ours, and then our complex, just twenty minutes after I fell asleep. For one inch of snow? C’mon! He was just scraping his plow on the concrete, which has to be one of the nastiest sounds ever. So that woke both of us up. Which wouldn’t have mattered at all, except the noise really freaked Spot out, so he decided it was time to play. So I got up to read in the living room for a little while and calm the cat down while he spazzed out and bounced from table to couch to chair to desk.
After finally getting him settled down forty-five minutes later, he slunk off to go sleep on Pete’s head (Spot’s favorite place to sleep) and then I was all wound up.
It’s always hard to get back in the swing of things after a vacation. But not being able to fall asleep before 3am on a Sunday night makes it a bit ickier.
♥♥♥
Instead of curling up on the couch and napping after having survived Monday, I decided that I need a new DS game to distract me for a while, and *shocked face* Chrono Trigger has just come out! So it was off to Best Buy for that. This game? It’s amazing. It’s been twelve years or so since I played the original, and that is one of my favorite games of all time.
Powering up the DS and hearing that theme music, I started bouncing around the living room.
“Do you HEAR it? I so remember this part!” Which I think I kept repeating for the first 20 minutes. Ha! Pete loves me :P
Which reminded me of how back when I was playing Chrono Trigger, so were a few of my friends. The guys in our group always named their RPG characters after friends, so one of my friends would have a healer Jenni in his game, while another one would have a warrior Jenni.
My oldest guy friend in the world was named Dave. Dave spent a lot of time at our house, my parents trusted him (with good reason), he was one of the only two boys allowed to crash on our living room couch if necessary.
Dave always had a Jenni in his games.
I was always Dave's princess.
♥♥♥
I’m a few hours in to the game now, and it’s so addicting and fun. The characters and the story still seem fresh, and the graphics are just nostalgic enough. I haven’t looked at much online about it, but I’m reeeeally hoping it still offers new game plus.
I like the controls, I tend to use the keypad more than the stylus in this game unlike Zelda where I was all stylus.
♥♥♥
So, that was my Monday.
And then the cat decided we all needed to be up at 3am again last night. He does that about once a week now, and keeps us up for a good half hour to an hour before he’ll settle down. I don’t have much experience with kittens – is that normal? Does he need more attention? Less attention? Different kitten chow? No more wet food? I think last night was partly because the schedule changed with us being home for five days, and maybe he’s reacting to that now that he’s home alone again? But that doesn’t explain the other night’s he’s done it, so I’m kind of at a loss.
If anyone has any kitten advice, I’d be really thankful.
♥♥♥
P.S. I brought my DS with me to work so that I could play on my lunch break. But now? It’s sitting there, calling to me with it Chronoy goodness. I don’t know how long I can resist!
Sunday, November 30, 2008
I can't believe my five day vacation is ending already!
Half of me can't wait to get back to work (as much as I loooove being at home, I need more things to do) and half of me wants another late night with my honey.
We've had a pretty great time. Most of it, honestly, has been spent watching movies and playing video games.
We had Thanksgiving dinner with Pete's Dad and brothers. Lots of great food and we all watched Death to Smoochy.
Saturday night, Mike stopped over for a while to hang out with Pete. They did the guy bonding thing while I was holed up in the bedroom writing furiously!
On Sunday, Pete and I were given some pretty great tickets to the Piston's game. I hadn't been in a couple of years. Driving back in the snow, we also got to talking about plans for the winter and how cozy everything is starting to feel.
And there was a huge amount of gooey almost-newly-wed talk. That Pete, he is great. And he's put up with so much from me this month ...
The lack of plans, the lack of socializing (although I did pop out a few times to say hi to the guys on Saturday night) was because of THIS :
That's right! I did it! I made 50000 words!
I'm so proud of that. I've been writing short stories and the beginnings to longer books since I was in the first grade. One of my nicknames in grade school was Chapter One because I'd generally stop soon after that.
So, I'd made a promise to myself that this year I'd buckle down and get it done. If it's crap, so what? And seeing as that's usually what stops me after the first 40 pages or so, throwing that worry out the window really helped.
I did all my writing by hand. Although I type more quickly than I write, it just felt awesome to have a pen in my hand almost all month.
Now I'm going to go let them de-cramp :)
I'll be back with some more sharing later & I can't wait to read all about your holiday weekends.
Half of me can't wait to get back to work (as much as I loooove being at home, I need more things to do) and half of me wants another late night with my honey.
We've had a pretty great time. Most of it, honestly, has been spent watching movies and playing video games.
We had Thanksgiving dinner with Pete's Dad and brothers. Lots of great food and we all watched Death to Smoochy.
Saturday night, Mike stopped over for a while to hang out with Pete. They did the guy bonding thing while I was holed up in the bedroom writing furiously!
On Sunday, Pete and I were given some pretty great tickets to the Piston's game. I hadn't been in a couple of years. Driving back in the snow, we also got to talking about plans for the winter and how cozy everything is starting to feel.
And there was a huge amount of gooey almost-newly-wed talk. That Pete, he is great. And he's put up with so much from me this month ...
The lack of plans, the lack of socializing (although I did pop out a few times to say hi to the guys on Saturday night) was because of THIS :
That's right! I did it! I made 50000 words!
I'm so proud of that. I've been writing short stories and the beginnings to longer books since I was in the first grade. One of my nicknames in grade school was Chapter One because I'd generally stop soon after that.
So, I'd made a promise to myself that this year I'd buckle down and get it done. If it's crap, so what? And seeing as that's usually what stops me after the first 40 pages or so, throwing that worry out the window really helped.
I did all my writing by hand. Although I type more quickly than I write, it just felt awesome to have a pen in my hand almost all month.
Now I'm going to go let them de-cramp :)
I'll be back with some more sharing later & I can't wait to read all about your holiday weekends.
Sunday, November 23, 2008
gimmie some sugar
Last night, Pete and I were bored. We decided to go see My Name is Bruce because, well, Bruce Campbell is one of the funniest guys ever. Army of Darkness is one of those movies I've watched over and over, usually with my Dad.
My sister and I still crack each other up with quotes from it.
The 7 o'clock show was sold out, so we went to a little bar around the corner (where Pete and I actually met) and ended up meeting some really cool people. This girl complimented me on my sweater (awwww...) and it lead to this really long conversation and her deciding we were new BFFs *lol*. She was awesome, though. Full of weird stories and she's leading a pretty interesting life.
We also met a few of her friends, and got invited to Thanksgiving Dinner with a big group of them. If we didn't already have plans, or want to hang out with my bestie in case those fall through, I'd really have loved to go.
After a few drinks, we went back for the 10 o'clock show. The movie was cheesy and funny, everything I expected.
And then Bruce showed up!!!
He did a half-hour long Q&A, the man is even funnier in person. Especially when someone brought up Bubba Ho-Tep. Heh. Seriously, though : he seems like such a great guy. And I'm so glad I got to hear him talk.
My Dad's gunna be sooooo jealous :P
My sister and I still crack each other up with quotes from it.
The 7 o'clock show was sold out, so we went to a little bar around the corner (where Pete and I actually met) and ended up meeting some really cool people. This girl complimented me on my sweater (awwww...) and it lead to this really long conversation and her deciding we were new BFFs *lol*. She was awesome, though. Full of weird stories and she's leading a pretty interesting life.
We also met a few of her friends, and got invited to Thanksgiving Dinner with a big group of them. If we didn't already have plans, or want to hang out with my bestie in case those fall through, I'd really have loved to go.
After a few drinks, we went back for the 10 o'clock show. The movie was cheesy and funny, everything I expected.
And then Bruce showed up!!!
He did a half-hour long Q&A, the man is even funnier in person. Especially when someone brought up Bubba Ho-Tep. Heh. Seriously, though : he seems like such a great guy. And I'm so glad I got to hear him talk.
My Dad's gunna be sooooo jealous :P
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